


Red and Blue

by myeongdong



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-04-14 17:54:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14141370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myeongdong/pseuds/myeongdong
Summary: I know this is neither the best nor the longest, but I tried my best to give you guys anything, and if I was to keep on adding more to this chapter I don't know if I'd ever be able to post it.





	1. Chapter 1

Red and Blue

Harry Potter AU

ººº

Kim Minseok, a Gryffindor student, is best friends with Byun Baekhyun, also a Gryffindor.

Baekhyun has a boyfriend, Park Chanyeol, from Slytherin.

Chanyeol’s best friend is Kim Jongdae, a Ravenclaw.

Minseok is his quidditch team’s seeker and captain, and the school’s best player in decades.

Baekhyun is the school’s best dressed student.

Chanyeol is the school’s most positive student. Ever.

Jongdae is Ravenclaw head boy and the school’s best student magic wise. He also takes a deep interest in the forbidden section of the library, but that’s not to be found in his records.

Jongdae and Minseok did not click when they met. And they have not clicked since then.

Life.

Or it is?

ººº

“I swear, Jongdae, is Baekhyun breaks up with me because of you, _I_ will break your nose… or arms, so that you cannot magically put yourself together instantly,” Chanyeol warned, glaring at the short male.

They were walking from Hogwarts to Hogsmeade, for a gig of their favorite band, The Wicked Witched. It was the middle of autumn, and the evening was cold, chilly wind getting under their jackets, which made them shiver.

“You’re overreacting!”

“We’re already fighting more than we used to! And it always starts with you and Minseok!” the younger growled.

Jongdae sighed, keeping his eyes down.

“I don’t need you to love him, Dae. Just behave like a civilized human being when he’s around and tolerate him!” the taller keep on talking. “Can I ask you at least for that? As a friend? Can you do this for me?” his voice softened, and he smiled lightly.

“I’ll see what I can do, I promise,” Jongdae mumbled, rolling his eyes, and a moment later got crushed by the other’s hug.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“Chan—yeol, I cann—nnot… breathe!”

ººº

“You listen, golden boy,” Baekhyun said, pointing a finger directly between Minseok’s eyes.

“Wow, watch out with the trash talk,” the elder laughed, taking a sip of his drink. They were sitting by the bar at the Three Broomsticks, waiting for the concert to start.

“I’m serious, Min. Chanyeol and Jongdae will be —“ he started, but got interrupted by the other’s loud groan, “grow up, you baby!” Baekhyun rolled his eyes, smacking his friend on the arm, “they’ll be here soon, and I expect you to behave yourself! Understood? I’m done fighting with Chanyeol because of you cannot keep your long tongue in your dirty mouth!”

Minseok didn’t get to respond, as he felt a hand on his shoulder. Upon turning around, he spotted a beaming Chanyeol standing next to them.

“Hello there, Yeol,” he smiled back, chuckling lightly at the other’s always positively radiating demeanor, “where’s your midget friend? Did he decide not to come? Is there another test he gotta — OUCH!” Minseok yelled upon being kicked in the shin.

“I told you!” Baekhyun glared, sipping on his drink through a pink straw.

“Hyung, you do realize that Jongdae is the exam same height as you, right? If not an inch or two taller?” Chanyeol asked, laughing.

“But seriously, where is he?” Baekhyun asked, looking around.

“He went to leave the coats and backstage to meet with Junmyeon. He should be here in a bit,” Chanyeol explained, and sat down next to his boyfriend to order a beer for himself and a drink for Jongdae.

“Junmyeon?” Minseok asked, not knowing whether he should know the person.

“Kim Junmyeon? The manager of The Wicked Witches?”

“What?!” Baekhyun exclaimed, his voice rising up a few octaves, “Jongdae knows _him_?!”

“Yeah. Jongdae knows a whole bunch of random people,” the younger shrugged, paying of the alcohol.

“Well, I wouldn’t call a manager of one of the most well known bands in the wizarding world random,” Minseok pointed, looking towards the stage.

“Do _you_ know him, Yeollie?!” Baekhyun asked, leaning against his boyfriend.

“Yeah, I met him through Jongdae a few years ago. We sometimes hang out, but most times he’s extremely busy… or he just doesn’t like me.”

“Are you whining again about Junmyeon not liking you?” a new voice joined the conversation and from behind Chanyeol and Baekhyun emerged Jongdae.

Minseok raised an eyebrow, looking the Ravenclaw up and down. He had a plain black v-neck on, black skinny jeans and a red checked flannel wrapped around his waist.

“If he liked me, then why doesn’t he ever wanna meet?” Chanyeol pouted.

“Well, have I not asked you if you wanted to go with me? He actually asked about you. Not my fault you’re too whipped over this fella,” he shrugged, gesturing at Baekhyun.

Chanyeol only hugged the elder tighter, smiling from ear to ear, “well, this particular case is all about priorities,” he said, and Baekhyun turned to give him a kiss.

“Oh, get a room you too,” Jongdae and Minseok exclaimed at the same time, and looked at each other in shock.

“Well, at least there’s something you two can agree on,” Baekhyun stated, surprised, “that’s a start.”

ººº

The concert started not long after, and everyone but Minseok went into the crowd. After a couple of songs, Jongdae emerged from the sea of people, slightly tipsy and sweaty.

He sat next to Minseok and ordered two shots.

“So,” he started, sliding one over the table to the Gryffindor, “neither of us wants to be the asshole friend who breaks the dumb and dumber up, so we gotta work a way to make it work.”

“It?”

“This,” Jongdae pointed between Minseok and himself, “you and me.”

Minseok took the shot glass in his hand and raised it in the air, “that’s right. We’re shitty people to each other, but we’re not shitty friends.”

Jongdae nodded, and upon smashing his glass into Minseok’s, they both let the alcohol stream down their throats. Once the glasses hit the counter, Jongdae waved at the bartender to give them two more.

“Any ideas, then?” he asked, looking at the elder.

“Well, I’m not really a person of words,” he said, taking an opportunity to look the other up and down again, “in comparison to you. So how about we just leave past in the past and move on?”

Jongdae chuckled, and this time handed Minseok the glass, “not gonna lie, talking my feelings out with you is not something I’d be ever looking forward to as well.”

They cheered, drank, and got a third round.

“I’ve never seen you in anything but the robes,” Minseok said, letting his eyes slide down Jongdae’s body, _again_.

“Your point?”

“Your ass looks really good in these tight jeans, boy,” Minseok mumbled, quickly taking a shot.

Jongdae raised an eyebrow, observing Minseok. The way his mouth curled over the rim of the glass, how a few drops of vodka streamed down his bottom lip and onto his chin, and how his veins moved underneath the skin on his throat, as he swallowed.

“Well, since we’re starting on a blank page, I’ll take the compliment.”

“Are you open to taking something else, tonight?” Minseok whisper, getting dangerously close to Jongdae.

The younger swallowed hard, slowly looking the elder in the eyes.

“Wh—what do you mean?”

“Your lips looks so kissable, you know. I be they’re pretty dirty, too… from all that alcohol you mixed,” Minseok said quietly, running his tongue against Jongdae’s lips.

“Stop it!” the younger quickly stepped back, looking at the other for a few seconds. Then, he grabbed his hand, and pulled down from the stool, “not here,” he smirked, and pulled the Gryffindor behind him, through the crowd of people, to left, down a dim corridor, to the right through a curtain, until they reached black wooden door.

“What is it?” Minseok asked, his eyes shining in the darkness.

“Bathroom,” Jongdae answer, pushing the door open and bringing the elder in. Once they were both inside, Jongdae locked the door, and turned to face Minseok.

“So,” he started, leaning against the door, “do you wanna fuck me against the door, against the wall, or bend me in half and take me against the sink?” he asked, licking his upper lip.

“Hold up,” Minseok laughed, nearing the younger, “I thought I only said I’d like to kiss you,” he murmured against Jongdae’s lips, putting his hands on the other’s waist, and brining their lips together. “No one said anything about fucking.”

“Ymmm,” Jongdae mumbled, licking his lips as Minseok pulled away, “isn’t it where it’d lead to, anywhere? Is that not what you meant when you asked me whether I wanted to _take_ anything else it. I’ve heard you had a dirty mouth, but speaking in riddles in not your gift.”

Minseok kissed Jongdae again, bringing his hands underneath the younger’s shirt.

“Did you hate me like ten minutes ago?” he asked in between kisses.

“Don’t you know,” Jongdae mumbled as they broke apart for a moment, “that hate sex is the best kind of sex?”

“And you’d know that how, exactly?” the elder chuckled, untangling Jongdae’s flannel from his waist and tossing it to the floor.

Jongdae grabbed Minseok’s face in his hands, and focused the other’s eyes on his own.

“Because just the sheer thought of you fucking me right now gets me more turned on than anything else,” he whispered, ran his finger’s through the Gryffindor’s hair, and then pulled at them, “so you’d better do it good, _golden boy_.”

“Oh, Kim Jongdae,” Minseok breathed out, “who’d thought there’d be such a freaky side of you hiding underneath the head boy attire.”

Jongdae slid his hand into the elder’s pants, and wrapping his fingers around the other’s dick, he said, “less talking more fucking, shall we?”

Minseok’s eyes rolled to the back of his head, as Jongdae started moving his hand up and down along his shaft.

“Any special requests?” the Gryffindor asked, grabbing Jongdae’s elbow to stop the movement.

“Make me see the stars, and we can consider it a new beginning.”

ººº

“I must say, that must have been one of the best ways I’ve ever started any relations with anybody,” Minseok chuckled, running a hand through Jongdae’s hair, “what do you say we do it again, some time?”

Jongdae leant into the touch, slightly pushing Minseok against the wall.

“It was quite nice, I must admit,” he smiled, running the tips of his fingers over  the elder’s cheek, “something worth remembering,” he mumbled, as he used his other hand to grab his wand.

“Did know you’d have it in you, you know,” Minseok smiled widely, putting his hands on the Ravenclaw’s waist, “I must have misjudged you more than I thought,” he said, brushing his lips over Jongdae’s, “cannot actually wait to see what else I got wrong about you.”

Jongdae only smiled, bringing his hand with his wand to the back of Minseok’s head.

“I guess we’d have to do it again, for that,” he whispered, and as the elder smiled back and started leaning towards him to kiss him, Jongdae placed the tip of his wand against the Gryffindor’s temple, his lips moved, and a silver string of light got attached to his wand. Quickly, but carefully he moved it into a small, silver neckless, and upon closing it, he quickly hid it in his pocket.

Minseok blinked a few times, and then frowned.

“Jongdae? What are we doing… in the bathroom?” he asked, confused.

“Huh?” the younger acted surprised, “don’t you remember? We were drinking by the bar, and then you said you’d use the bathroom? You were gone for quite some time, so I started looking for you,” he lied, shrugging.

“Why would you look for me?” Minseok asked, suspicious.

“Because we have literally just established to put our feud behind for the sake of our friends? May as well start implementing it right away,” he smiled, “don’t give me a hard time, work with me, Minseok.”

“Oh… thank you. I must have blacked out for a moment… where is Baekhyun?”

“Still in the crowd, you didn’t miss much, and you were no forgotten. There’s no point wasting the night here, let’s go. Our drinks our still at the bar,” he chuckled, grabbing the elder by the hand and leaving the bathroom.

“Are you sure they’re safe to drink, tho?” Minseok cracked an eyebrow.

“Probably not, we’ll just get new ones!”

* * *

I need honest opinions on this. Because, I just really do. Questions, theories, opinions, bad and good, anything. This turned into a longer idea, and I gotta need to know what to do about this piece.

Love you (and HP)


	2. Whisky and Vodka

Whisky and Vodka

ººº

“I must say,” Baekhyun started, as Minseok and him were walking to their classes, “I am impressed. And very grateful. It really means a lot to me,” he smiled at his friend.

“What are you talking about?” the elder raised an eyebrow, cracking a small smile back.

“Jongdae and you. It’s been a week, and you haven’t tried to rip each other’s throats out. It means a lot to me.”

Minseok chuckled, wrapping an arm around his friend, “anything for my buddy, right?” he winked, “I gotta go, I’ll see you in the evening, right?” he asked, as he stood in front of the door to the upper levels of the tower.

“I wouldn’t miss a Hufflepuff party for the world! They always have the best food,” he laughed, and moved on to his class down the corridor after having waved at his friend.

“There you are!” Baekhyun heard a voice by his side, and a second later another arm wrapped around him, “I was looking for you everywhere!”

He rolled his eyes at his boyfriend’s silliness, and gave him a quick peck on the cheek, “Chanyeol, you know exactly where to find me at all times before classes.”

“I missed you, you know,” the taller whispered, as they sat down at their table.

“We saw each other at breakfast,” Baekhyun giggled.

“So? Does it mean I cannot miss my boyfriend?” the younger wiggled his eyebrows, and Baekhyun just chuckled.

“You’re so cheesy.”

“That’s what you make me —“

“Excuse me, gentlemen, am I interrupting you?” the professor asked, and suddenly everyone’s eyes were on them.

“Sorry,” they both mumbled, quickly grabbing their notebooks.

ººº

“Is Jongdae coming tonight?” Baekhyun asked Chanyeol as they were walking to the great hall for lunch.

“He said he would,” the other beamed, “I am slightly concerned, you know. I think he’s starting to realize that he might have taken up too many responsibilities.”

“He’s not the only head boy, Chanyeol, are you sure you’re not overreacting?” Baekhyun asked skeptically.

“Yeah, I know! But it’s just… he’s constantly either in class, studying, practicing magic, being the head boy, running errands for his professors, filling out god knows what kinds of forms and reports… and in all of it, he lacks balance. He does only these things… he hardly ever goes out, takes a break, rests… I am the only person he ever hangs out with, Baekhyun. That’s why I’m worried. Balance.”

“How are the two of you even friends?” Baekhyun asked, surprised at how different the two boys’ characters were.

“One of the great mysteries of this world, I presume,” Chanyeol bust out laughing.

“What’s so funny?” the heard a voice, and from behind them emerged Jongdae.

“You,” replied Chanyeol, shrugging.

“Excuse me?”

“Don’t listen to him,” Baekhyun rolled his eyes, “so, Jongdae, will you be coming to the Hufflepuffs’ party tonight?”

“Are you serious? I wouldn’t miss their food for the world,” he chuckled, and Baekhyun’s eyes shone.

“My man!” he exclaimed, hugging Jongdae tightly.

“Baekhyun, I know you’re dating my best friend, but please, no public affection towards me at all times, okay?”

“Oh, em, of course, sorry…”

Jongdae smiled at both of them and started walking away, “I’ll see you guys tonight!”

“He’s just so weird, Chanyeol…” Baekhyun mumbled, cuddling into his boyfriend.

“He’s… just being Jongdae…” the taller laughed.

ººº

The evening came quickly, and with it the sweet beginning of the weekend and a party thrown by the Hufflepuffs in the room of requirement.

Jongdae was on his way to the seventh floor, when he ran into Minseok. They met on the fourth floor, in an empty corridor. The elder was standing by the window, looking out into the moonless night, dressed in black pants and white shirt. The moment Jongdae neared him, he looked to the side, their eyes met, and the younger stopped dead in his trucks.

Jongdae inhaled loudly, taking in the statue like posture of Minseok, a figure half swallowed by the shadows, half lighted up by the stars.

“Jongdae,” he spoke, “you look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Minseok chuckled lightly, looking the younger up and down, “oh,” he gasped, nearing the younger, “did you wear these jeans to impress me?” he whispered, raising an eyebrow.

The younger narrowed his eyes, biting his lower lip.

“ _You_ are gonna be a ghost, soon, if you don’t stop talking,” he warned, and continued walking to the stairs.

“Oh, we both know you only talk big,” the elder laughed, following the Ravenclaw “you’re not as tough as you’d like me to think.”

“Well, you’re not as interesting as you’d like people to think, and yet, that doesn’t stop you from talking.”

“Someone’s being sassy.”

“Just unimpressed by your persona, Minseok,” the Ravenclaw sighed. He stopped and turned to look the Gryffindor in the eyes, “let’s get it straight, seeker. Nothing about you impresses me. We’re not friends. We don’t even like each other. You don’t have to try so hard to live up to whatever stupid expectations people have. So just shut up, and we might make it through another social event without ruining it for our friends.”

He then turned around again and kept on climbing the stairs.

None of them said anything until they reached the room, and then separated way.

ººº

But not for long. They were trapped together soon after Baekhyun and Chanyeol found them on two separate ends of the room.

“I wanna make a toast!” Chanyeol exclaimed, raising his class, “to both of you,” he looked at the elder Gryffindor and Ravenclaw, “we really appreciate you trying.”

“It’d be easier if you didn’t make us be in each other’s company,” Jongdae mumbled, looking around the room.

But then he felt an arm wrapping around his shoulder, and once he looked to his left, he realized it was Minseok’s.

“Anything for you guys,” the elder cheered, crushing Jongdae under his touch, “right?” he looked at him pointedly, and the younger just sighed and smiled at his friend and his boyfriend.

“Of course. Anything.”

They sat down on a bunch of bean bags that were lying near them, hoping to relax.

And they did. Mostly Baekhyun and Chanyeol spoke, leaving Minseok and Jongdae space to laugh, nod or make nosies, but not enough to argue. They were drinking, enjoying the time and company ( _surprisingly_ , Jongdae thought).

“I swear!” Minseok laughed into his glass after telling them a story from his last Christmas at home.

“No way,” Jongdae laughed, “no way in hell anyone would be this stupid!”

“Are you saying I’m lying?!” Minseok looked at the younger, offended.

“I’m saying there’s no way any living human being would be stupid enough to believe that eating chocolate frogs would turn them into one!”

“But he did! And he ate every single one!”

“And you’re telling me he didn’t end up in hospital?” the younger raised an eyebrow.

“Kim Jongdae!” Minseok whined, “I’m not lying! My cousin’s really that stupid!”

“Oh, just shut up,” Jongdae chuckled, taking a sip from his glass.

“Make me,” the elder dared, and both Baekhyun and Chanyeol raised their eyebrows.

“Oh, wow, the sexual tension is getting thick,” the Gryffindor joked.

All of them laughed, and drank their drinks.

Jongdae let his eyes drift towards the Gryffindor sitting next to him. He observed how Minseok’s lips parted, how his jawline and veins moved, as the alcohol was streaming down his throat, and how his facial features remained unmoved by the burning sensation. He looked at the elder’s collarbones, sticking from beneath the shirt, his defined arms outlined by the thin fabric, and hands, so tightly wrapped around the bottom of the glass.

Jongdae felt a sharp, stinging pain of guilt in his guts, remembering what he had done.

ººº

The clock was slowly turning, lazily approaching midnight.

Baekhyun and Chanyeol were making out, and Jongdae and Minseok were peacefully drinking, avoiding any conversation.

“Shouldn’t we leave them alone?” Jongdae suddenly asked, looking at the ceiling.

“I’d like to think they have enough decency to take into consideration they’re still among people,” Minseok replied, playing with his glass.

“I wouldn’t put too much faith into that,” the younger mumbled, “they have probably already forgotten we're here… after all, we are talking about them, and they just ignore us,” he chuckled.

“Well, they are pretty much occupied —“

“With each other’s mouths. That’s not gonna go down as an excuse.”

“They keep making us do things for them, maybe it’s time we started doing the same,” Minseok suggested, looking at the younger.

“Rule number one, if we don’t argue, they don’t make out in front of us.”

“Sounds to me like the golden rule,” Minseok laughed, and as Jongdae looked up at him, someone approach them.

A woman, probably Jongdae’s age, with long dark hair, dark eyes, and blood red lips.

The Ravenclaw gulped.

“Minseok!” she greeted the Gryffindor, disregarding the other’s presence, “I was looking for you everywhere! I almost thought you decided not to come!”

“Hello, Caroline,” the elder smiled, “yeah, I was kinda made to hang out with my friends,” he laughed, briefly looking at the couple making out.

“Ouch,” the girl flinched, but then froze, when her eyes landed on the boy next to Minseok. “Jongdae?” she whispered, surprised.

Minseok raised an eyebrow, looking between the two—his surprised friend, and frozen Jongdae.

The Ravenclaw dropped his glass to the floor, the liquor spilled, the object shuttered into million pieces. He stood up as fast as his state and the beans bags allowed him, and walked away.

“Jongdae!” the girls yelled after him, trying to catch him, but to no avail.

“What’s going on?” Chanyeol asked, looking around.

“Caroline?” Minseok stood up as well, “what was that about?”

The girl looked at the Gryffindor without saying much.

“I’m sorry,” she only mumbled, before she disappeared in the crowd.

“Where’s Jongdae?” Chanyeol asked another question, looking for his friend, “what happened?”

“I don’t know,” Minseok replied, confused, “I’m… I’m gonna look for him,” he mumbled, walking away from the couple, and into the direction Jongdae stormed off to.

He found him by the door, ready to leave. Minseok quickly jogged toward the boy, and stopped him, by grabbing his elbow.

“Jongdae —“

“Let go, Minseok,” the Ravenclaw spat, trying to free himself from the touch.

“Hey, what’s wrong? How do you know Caroline?”

“None of your business, now let me go! Why did you even follow me?”

“I came looking for you,” Minseok said quietly, “like you did last time.”

Jongdae’s heart stopped, and then ached more than it had before.

“Are you alright?” Minseok asked, observing the younger.

“Please, let me go,” the Ravenclaw whispered, not fighting anymore.

“How about we grab a drink, huh? And I’ll walk you to your room after that,” Minseok suggested, smiling at the other.

“Why? What is in it for you? Why do you care?”

“ _Because we have literally just established to put our feud behind for the sake of our friends? May as well start implementing it right away_?” he smiled cheekily, “ _don’t give me a hard time, work with me_ , Jongdae!” Minseok laughed, but Jongdae only frowned.

“Shut up, _shut up_!” the younger exclaimed, “stop quoting me! Just let me go!”

Minseok frowned, looking the younger up and down.

“Well, how about you make me, then?”

“Make you what?” the Ravenclaw exhaled, suddenly exhausted.

“Make me shut up, if you want it to bad.”

“Let me go, Minseok, I don’t wanna be here, I don’t wanna be here with you, with anyone, I wanna be on my own.”

“Grab one drink with me, and you’ll free after that.”

“Why?” the younger whined, annoyed and irritated.

“You need to calm down. You might do something stupid if you leave right now,” the elder said softly and quietly, pulling the Ravenclaw in the direction of the bar, “let’s go. I know you hate me, and vice-versa. But you told me today that I didn’t need to pretend to be anyone, because you didn’t care. Right back at you,” he smiled, and Jongdae followed him to the bar, defeated.

ººº

“How do you know, her, Minseok?” Jongdae asked, staring blankly into his class.

“She’s dating a guy on the quidditch team,” the elder shrugged, “why? how do you know her?”

But Jongdae remained silent, only staring harder into the class, as if trying to burn holes in it.

“History?”

“You could say,” the younger replied.

“Heartbreak?” the elder pried.

“Shut up,” Jongdae mumbled, “stop trying to get answers. Shut up.”

“Make me,” Minseok huffed into his glass, and took a sip.

“I would if I could, believe me.”

They sat in silence after that, for what felt like forever, before Jongdae suddenly drank his glass in one go and stood up.

“Where are you going?” Minseok asked, frowning.

“Away from here,” Jongdae replied shortly and started going away.

Minseok quickly grabbed his glass and followed the younger.

“I don’t need a babysitter!” Jongdae yelled from down the corridor, to which Minseok smiled.

“Keep screaming louder, I don’t think the teachers heard you just right,” he pointed, “and here I thought you were supposed to be the responsible head boy who knows the ruled.”

“Go away, Minseok!” Jongdae whined, walking faster.

“Make me.”

“Shut up,” Jongdae yelled, turning around and almost bumping into the Gryffindor, who was right behind him.

“Make me,” Minseok whispered, provocatively.

“You keep saying that, just shut up!” Jongdae groaned, and then bit his lower lip at the closeness of the older’s body, “what do you want from me?”

“Instead of biting your pretty lips, why don’t you bite mine?” he asked in a whisper, nearing even more, cockiness audible in his voice.

Jongade took a step back.

“Because that’s exactly what you want, isn’t it?” Jongdae asked, challenging the elder.

“And what if it is?”

“But you hate me —“ Jongdae whispered, losing his self control.

“But what if I didn’t for a moment or two?” he tilted his head to the side, running his hand trough Jongdae’s hair.

Minseok took the last sip of the drink he had in his hand, and let the drops stream down his lip and chin. The glass fell to the floor, crushing against the hard concrete.

“Mmmm,” he moaned, “what a shame you didn’t get to try, whisky from 1864,” he smirked.

Jongdae couldn’t take it anymore. He wrapped his hand around Minseok’s neck and pulled him in for a kiss.

The taste of whiskey on his tongue drove his senses mad.

Jongdae kissed Minseok so hungrily, so possessively, as if nothing around them existed. He threw his head back, exposing his neck, letting Minseok do anything that he wanted.

The elder paved his way of kisses and bites from the top of Jongdae’s jawline, down his neck, collarbones, to his chest. He skillfully unbuttoned the younger’s shirt, and wrapping his hands against the other’s naked waist, started exploring his body.

Soft moans were escaping Jongdae’s mouth, his mind and judgement clouded, his hands buried in the Gryffindor’s hair.

He opened his eyes, to look into the dark night outside. He pulled Minseok back up, to his lips, and crushed them back together.

“Why does it feel so good, when it shouldn’t?” he whispered into Gryffindor’s ear, as he nibbled at his earlobe.

“Maybe that’s the whole point?” Minsoeok panted back, biting into Jongdae’s neck, intending to leave marks.

He pushed Jongdae against the wall, and the younger swiftly wrapped his legs around the other’s hips.

“Hmmm,” Minseok hummed, content, as their lips met again, “I don’t think whisky and vodka go together,” he chuckled into the kiss, and so did Jongdae.

“I guess we’ll have to make them work, somehow,” he replied, leaning forward to place small kisses all over Minseok’s shoulders.

ººº

As the night dragged on, the party finally came to an end, disturbed by the angry teacher.

The Gryffindor and the Ravenclaw were insdise one of the classrooms, on the fifth floor. Minseok was lying on the ground, his shirt abandoned somewhere between the tables, and Jongdae sat upon him, their hands linked, and the younger’s lips attached to the elder’s body.

But they got disturbed by the loud banging of feet against the stone.

Jongdae jolted up, looking around.

“Party’s over, we have to go,” he said quickly and quietly, looking for Minseok shirt.

“Calm down, they won’t find us here,” Minseok said, “why would any —“

“Make sure no one’s in the classrooms around here!” they heard one of the teachers yell, and that made Misneok quickly stand up.

“Okay, let’s go, quickly!” he elder nodded, passing Jongdae on his way to the door.

But the younger grabbed him wrist, making him turn around. Before he could ask any questions, Jongdae only whispered a soft “I’m sorry,” and his eyes fell shut.

The Ravenclaw quickly, but carefully, put the string of Minseok’s memories into his silver pendant, and ran out of the classroom before the elder could see him, leaving the Gryffindor alone.

* * *

I hope you enjoyed the continuation! I guess this story evolved beyond just a one-shot or two parts... maybe turn it into something more! Who'd like that?

 

 


	3. All the Questions and No Answers

Jongdae spent the whole morning in the forest, practicing new spells that he had found the previous night in one of the many books he had taken from the forbidden section in the library. After hours, he was on his way back to the castle, the book he was using safely tugged and hidden at the bottom of his bag. As he was passing the lower plain, just outside of the Forbidden forest, he heard loud noises of frustrations. Upon hiding behind the closest tree, he leaned out slightly to check who it was. And it turned out to be the last person he would have ever expected to see in that place.

Right between stone stairs leading up to the school and a massive rock stood Minseok, kicking everything that happened to be in his way. He had his wand in one hand and around him, both on the ground and stone walls, were dark circles.

Jongdae observed the Gryffindor for a while, the way he seemed to be collecting himself, took a deep breath in, raised his wand… and totally failed at whatever he was doing. The Ravenclaw rolled his eyes, shook his head, and left the shadows, going into the direction of the elder boy.

“What was that supposed to be?” he asked, and Minseok jumped at the unexpected voice.

“Jongdae?! What are you doing here?!” he squeaked, his voice jumping a few octaves higher.

“I guess I could ask the same?” the younger said, raising an eyebrow.

Minseok only turned around on his hill, throwing his wand to the ground, and groaning loudly, “I don’t even know! _Ugh_ ,” he huffed and fell to the ground.

Jongdae looked the boy, then at the wand in the grass, and finally to the sky. “This is the reason I don’t believe in you,” he mumbled, “an almighty and loving God cannot be such a dick,” he rolled his eyes, referring to the situation in which he found himself. Looking at the elder, Jongdae couldn’t shake the overwhelming feelings off of his chest. There was a whole lot of negative emotions between them, and the air was already thick from them, but the worst of it all was that guilt eating Jongdae from inside out as he was looking at the Gryffindor.

His fingers wrapped around his wand and wrinkled his nose.

“You’re never gonna get this spell right like this,” he mumbled, and Minseok raised an eyebrow.

“Wow, thank you, Sherlock, that’s a fucking revelation!” the elder yelled in frustration.

“I mean,” Jongdae started slowly and calmly, “your technique is all wrong.” He said, taking a step closer, “you’re too tense, and you should try keeping your writ facing inwards instead of upwards. Like this,” he explained and raising his wand higher, to let Minseok see, he casted the same spell the elder was practicing.

With one swift movement he turned a piece of rock into a lizard.

“You make it look so easy. Fuck you,” Minseok groaned, rolling his eyes, “don’t need you to be showing off. Everyone knows you’re the freaking god of magic, asshole,” he spat, quickly grabbing his bag that was on the ground.

“No, wait –” Jongdae grabbed Minseok’s elbow, turning the other to face him, “I… I didn’t mean to…”

The Ravenclaw took a deep breath in letting the other go.

“I just wanted to… help, okay?”

“Help?” Minseok asked after a few moments of silence. “You wanted to help _me_?”

They were just looking at each other for a few moments, only exchanging glances.

“Why?”

“I like to think there’s more to me than just being an asshole,” Jongdae joked lightly, but he knew very well it was not true. He was doing it because he felt _guilty_.

Minseok frowned, but then looked down at his wand.

“Do you think… do you think you could show me that once again?” he asked unsurely.

Jongdae nodded and they spent the next few hours practicing spells.

 ººº

“Wow,” Minseok breathed out at the end, “this isn’t all too bad.”

“You have enough knowledge about the spells, you were just never taught the proper technique.”

“Hah, maybe after all I’m not that big of a wizarding failure as everyone thinks,” Minseok joked, throwing his bag over his shoulder.

“One, no one thinks that. Two, you’re not a bad wizard, Minseok. You just need to improve upon a few details.”

“Clearly, Kim, you’ve never met my family,” the elder laughed, climbing up the stairs, “oh, I’m starving! Let’s go, Jongdae!”

The younger tilted his head, watching the Gryffindor running up the stairs. There was something about his words that didn’t sit right with Jongdae. But who was he to pry upon them?

 ººº

The next day, before lunch, Minseok stood in front of the entrance to the Great Hall, waiting for Jongdae. When he spotted the younger’s posture in the sea of people, a massive smile appeared on his face.

“Jongdae!” he yelled out when the Ravenclaw neared him.

The said boy only raised an eyebrow, confused.

“Hello, Minseok?”

“Thank you so much!” he exclaimed, “for the first time in forever I wasn’t the laugh of the calss in transfiguration. I owe it to you.”

“Oh,” Jongdae smiled lightly, “you’re welcome. I’m glad I could help.”

Minseok took a deep breath in, which confused Jongdae even more.

“Do you think… do you think there are any chances you could help me with this… more?”

Jongdae instantly went pale. “Mo—more?”

“Like… more often?” Minseok asked, not so confident any more, biting on his lip. “I am only minutes away from failing this class. I hate myself for even asking you this, believe me, but… but I really need you help, Jongdae. I beg you…” he whispered, looking around to make sure no one was listening to them.

Jongdae stood there, looking at the elder, at the most famous Gryffindor at school, who suddenly seemed so small under the weight of embarrassment and lack of confidence.

Could he help me? There was no denying that he had the means and knowledge to help the boy out. But that would mean spending so much more time with the Gryffindor. So much more temptation… so much more room for mistakes and regrets.

Jongdae wasn’t a bad person. Deep inside he really wasn’t. At least he wanted to believe that. Part of him really wanted to help Minseok. After all, the seeker wasn’t half as bad as the rumors painted him to be, and how he presented himself to everyone. He wasn’t a douchebag, he wasn’t arrogant… sometimes. He was a loyal friend who was ready to make amends with Jongdae just to make his best friend happy. And Jongdae took advantage of it. Mistake or not, he did the worst thing possible, and he did it twice. He stripped Minseok from his most valued possession, he stole from him something that the other cannot even seek out…

Jongdae knew that his act wasn’t just a betrayal against Minseok. He betrayed Chanyeol. His one and only true friend.

And there was no magic in the world, neither in the school books nor in the forbidden ones, that could change it.

So standing there, looking at Minseok, he really wanted to say “yes.”

“I’m sorry, I cannot,” he mumbled, and quickly passed the elder, disappearing in the crowd of people.

 ººº

Jongdae stood in front of the mirror in a bathroom, looking at his reflection, waiting for answers. Answers that never came, because he never asked any questions. He was just standing there, battling with his thoughts, roaming around in his head in chaos. He had so many questions, but asking any of them, be it out loud or even daring to formulate them in his head, seemed too scary.

_Because once you say something out loud it becomes truth._

So he only stood there, looking at the ghost in front of him, wondering whether he even recognized himself anymore.

His eyes lowered and rested on the reflection of a blue pendant that was hanging on his neck.

He swallowed loudly, tilting his head back, not being able to stand the look of it. Such a small thing, the blue pendant, but was carrying such a heavy weight to it. All of Jongdae’s mistakes, regrets and sins were hidden there.

And amongst the sea of his own monsters hid Minseok’s memories.

 ººº

“Chanyeol… Chanyeol, wake up!”

Chanyeol murmured something and turned to the other side, covering his head with a blanket.

“Chanyeol!”

The boy frowned, waking up slowly, as something was tagging at his arm, “wake the fuck up!”

“What the ---” Chanyeol started, but then squeaked and fell down from his bed, as upon opening his eyes he saw Jongdae hoovering above him. “Jongdae!” he whisper-yelled, quickly collecting himself, “what are you doing here?! You cannot be here?!”

“If you didn’t want me here, why would have given me your password, huh?” the elder sassed him, straightening his back.

“It’s 3am! What the fuck do you want?”

Jongdae’s face changed, and Chanyeol swallowed loudly as his friend suddenly looked like a kicked puppy. “What happened, Jongdae?”

The Ravenclaw only nodded towards the door, signalizing that they should step outside.

Upon locking the door to a study room in the Slytherin chamber, Chanyeol yawned and turned to his friend.

“So, what is so urgent that you had to break into our common room and wake me up at the time that even Devil himself doesn’t recognize?”

“Chanyeol,” Jongdae started, disregarding all of his friend’s compaints, “am I am bad person?”

“Huh?” the younger raised an eyebrow, sitting in front of the other boy.

“Be honest with me. One hundred percent. Do you think I am a bad person?”

“Of course not! Why would you think that?”

“You cannot be saying that only because we’re friends, okay. I need you to be honest. Am I a bad person?”

“Jongdae, you are not a bad person. What happened? Why are you being weird?”

“Where do you draw a line between someone who is good and someone who is bad?”

“Wha… you… Jongdae, you are creeping me out, what the hell happened?”

“I’ve done something really really really bad, Chanyeol,” he whispered, curling into a ball.

“What did you do?”

“I cannot tell you… I really cannot… You’d hate me for this.”

“You know, Jongdae, that you’ve been coming to me with this exact same question from the moment we became friends? Regardless of what is going on, I just always happen to find you asking me whether you are a bad person.”

“Am I?”

“You are not a bad person, Jongdae. You’re a person that experienced a lot of bad. But that doesn’t make you _bad_.”

“But what if—”

“No ifs. You are my friend, Jongdae, there is nothing you could do that would make me hate you.”

Jondgae opened and closed his mouth a few times, before he decided not to speak.

“I don’t know another person who would put aside their own issues just to make their friend happy by making amends with one of the people they hate most. And you’re doing that, Jongdae, by trying to work around Minseok’s and yours differences for Baekhyun and I. And I cannot thank you enough for that!”

Jongdae’s lips trembled when he said that.

“So no, Jongdae, I don’t think you are a bad person. No one thinks that,” Chanyeol smiled at his friend widely, and Jongdae felt sick.

“I… there’s someone who… does it really mean so much to you and Bakehyun that Minseok and I get along?” he finally asked.

“It means everything to us, you know. Last year was just terrible, having had to balance between the two of you. Having you two in the same room was never an option, but so was excluding either of you from our lives. Because as much as I love to have you to myself whenever I need it and share certain parts of my life with you, as it has always been, having you as part of Baekhyun and I’s lives… that means just as much to me. And when you and Minseok cannot even look at each other… that created a lot of problems. I’ve never told you, but Baekhyun and I almost broke out over the summer.”

“What? Because of me?!”

“Because of the situation… how would you feel if I was disregarding your relationship, because I couldn’t stand your boyfriend’s best friend?”

“I was never… I never wanted you to feel like I was disregarding it, Chanyeol… I just… you always wanted me everywhere and I … I just felt really out of place… I love spending time with you, but three is a crowd Chanyeol, and you know it…”

“I am just really glad that you guys are trying for us,” Chanyeol smiled, taking Jongdae’s hand in his own.

Jongdae signed heavily. There goes the conversation.

“I… I will let you go back to sleep, Yeol,” he said, standing up.

“Is that what you wanted to talk about?” the taller raised an eyebrow.

“N—yeah, yeah, it was. I’ll see you in the morning,” Jongdae mumbled and quickly left the room.

Running out of the Slytherins’ chamber, Jongdae stopped only when he was three floors up and out of breath. As he looked around, he realized that he was standing in front of the Gryffindor’s common room. He ran a hand through his hair and sat on the cold floor.

“What the hell do I do…” he asked himself, looking at the stone floor.

 

* * *

I know, it's been forever... all I can say is I'm sorry.

 


	4. Monsters from the past

Jongdae spent two days avoiding his friend, Baekhyun and most importantly Minseok. He was doing perfectly, managing not to run into any of them at any point. Unfortunately, third day in, he was approached by his professor and asked about participating in another year’s class. Jongdae hated it, but he knew he couldn’t just say no. Disagreeing was out of question. So he smiled awkwardly and agreed, already preparing himself for the worst. And yet, the worst he had imagined was not even half as bad as seeing Minseok sitting in one of the desks in the classroom. He himself was sitting on a cold, stone steps of the stair in the back of the room, leading to the professor’s office, when his eyes met with the Gryffindor’s. Jongdae could easily read the confusion and surprise on the elder’s face, and he cursed in his spirit when Minseok stood up to walk up to him.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, standing in front on Jongdae with his hands in his pockets.

“I have honestly no idea,” he murmured, and Minseok only raised an eyebrow. Jongdae sighed, “he just asked me to come here today, but never said why,” he mumbled, “any idea why your defense against dark arts professor would want me here?” he looked up at the elder, seriousness painted on his face.

Gryffindor only shrugged, looking around, “any chances you pissed his off and he just wants to kick your ass?” Jongdae looked up at Minseok, deep in thought. “Oh,” the elder mumbled, “I was actually just joking, why are you even thinking about it?”

Jondgae looked to the floor, thinking harder. Did he do something? Did the professor start suspecting something? He tried his best to be careful about spells he was using in class. Did he slip? He looked around the class, where more students were already taking their places, and his face turned sour when his eyes landed on two of the students. Before he looked away, he locked eyes with one of them. And before he knew it, a tall, blond boy was approaching Minseok and him.

“Oh, look who’s here!” he laughed loudly, hanging his arm around Minseok’s shoulders and looking down at Jongdae, “our baby got a promotion,” he chuckled, and Jongdae just looked away, “I haven’t seen you in forever, Jongdae!”

Minseok raised an eyebrow looking between the two. “Do you know each other?” he asked, surprised.

“We used to be great buddies back in a day, didn’t we, Jongdae?” he mocked, leaning forward a bit, “oh, come on, Jongdae. Didn’t we have a great time?”

Minseok glanced at Jongdae, who’s jaw was clenched, and his knuckles white from holding the wand. His eyes seemed to be focused directly on the other’s face, but also as if clouded at the same time, consumed by fury.

“Collin, why don’t we sit down, huh? The class’s about to start,” Minseok suggested and at the same moment the door above them opened and their professor appeared in the class.

 ººº

“As some of you may have already realized,” the men started, “we have an additional student in class today,” he smiled cheekily, looking at Jongdae, awkwardly standing in the shadows by the wall, feeling more out of place than during third wheeling his friend’s dates.

“Does anyone need some tutoring from grown-ups?” he heard Collin’s remark, and rolled his eyes. So did Minseok, as Jongdae realized, not being able not to steal a few glances at him, and so did the professor.

“Most certainly,” the men said, and Jongdae looked at him, offended, “but it might be Jongdae doing the tutoring today, Collin.”

“Excuse me?” said Jongdae and Collin at the same time. The Ravenclaw took the few seconds that followed to voice the question that had been haunting him since the previous day, “excuse me, professor, but what exactly am I doing here?” He hated being in the center of attention, hated being the one everyone looked at. He hated feeling like a freak.

“The school has been advised to do an overall research on students’ abilities and practicality of these abilities. The Ministry suggested that, should we find someone worth it, we should allow students to take the Advanced Magical Exams, which are a rare opportunity given by the Ministry. There have been a few students selected to undergo the tests, two of them are in this class, today,” he smiled widely, “everyone please stand up and make some room in the center. Jongdae, Collin, please step forward.”

Jongdae gulped, and felt warmth spreading all over his body. His hands started sweating, and his heart beating fast, as if wanting to escape him chest. He did not sign up to be an experiment.

“Oh, look at our baby, Caroline,” Collin’s words reached his ears, “he’s scared.”

“Are you alright?” he heard a soft whispered next to his ear, and he quickly took a step to the side, surprised by the closeness. It was Minseok, standing next to him, looking slightly… “ _concerned?”_ Jongdae wondered. He only nodded, taking a step forward to face the other Gryffindor.

“Collin is the best student of his year, Jongdae,” the professor explained, “I want you to create a real life situation in which you may be required to use your defense against dark arts skills. That being said, I want you to try coming as close to dark arts spells, as possible, without _killing_ each other, understood?” he quickly added at the end, “I believe I do not need to remind you which spells are off the table, am I correct?” he looked at both of them, waiting for a sign of understanding. They nodded, looking each other in the eyes. “Let’s begin. Hopefully, I’ll get some time to test a few more of you all after that. And everyone else! I want you to pay attention to what is going on and provide feedback, understood?”

The class nodded, and when Jongdae and Collin got a green light, they took a few steps back from each other, raised their wands, and took deep breaths in. Jongdae hated being looked at, but he loved having the Gryffindor in front of him like this. He dreamt of this moment for a long time. So he waited, patiently, for the other to start. And when he did, yelling out one spell after another, Jongdae only stood in his place, creating one shield after another. He didn’t mind the other’s snarky smiles and grins, because while the elder was wasting his energy, trying to deal with Jongdae as soon as possible, the younger was saving his, to attack the Gryffindor once his energy is low, and he himself becomes defenseless.

He could feel a painful stare of Minseok on him, examining his every move, studying his posture and features. He wanted to look to the side so damn bad, but he knew that it would be the end of him. And there were so many more things he wanted to do to Collin then he wished Minseok could do to him. So he stood his ground, and when it finally happened, when the elder took a second long break between his spells, when the first few drops of sweat ran down his forehead and to the ground, Jongdae cast a spell that sent the other across the room. Everyone went quiet, silence suddenly filling the space, becoming unbearable deafening. Jongdae loved it. He gave his opponent a few seconds to collect himself, before his wand shot a white light again, no words or spells ever being said out loud, taking from Collin the opportunity to counter attack. Then he did it again, and again, and again. With every spell he watched the elder become weaker, sweating more, finding it harder to catch a breath. And just when he thought he should end it, Collin managed to move to a side and cast another spell. Jongdae didn’t see it coming, and there was a sudden stinging pain crossing his cheek, and he felt something warm on his skin. The Gryffindor in front of him smirked, breathing heavily. Jongdae laughed, low and somehow dark, like a maniac to a certain degree, and it suddenly got colder in the room. Everyone looked around, confused, and towards the professor, who observed the Ravenclaw with curiosity. Jongdae cracked his neck, and raising his wand up, sent Collin against the stone pillar, then to the ground, and as his lips barely moved, silently spelling out words, the Gryffindor yelled out in pain, without moving one bit. Everyone took a step back, terrified.

“Stop him!” Someone yelled, but Jongdae was too deep in his own mind to realize anything that was happening around him. All he wanted was to make the man on the floor feel the same pain he felt years ago.

 ººº

Jongdae was sitting by the cold wall of the Astronomy tower, looking into the horizon, where the sun was slowly setting. He sighed, exhausted, looking at his hands. He never meant to hurt anyone, at least he hoped he had not. But after the professor threw his across the room just to get him out of his haze, he was not sure anymore. He left shoulder and ribs hurt a little, from the impact, but it was nothing in comparison to what Collin must have felt. He was taken to the hospital right away, not being able to move, and Jongdae had to await a long and exhausting talk with the professor. To his surprise, after everyone left and the professor followed with a small group to the hospital wing, leaving Jongdae on the steps of the stairs, there was one parson that stayed. As the Ravenclaw was sitting on the concrete floor, shaking with fear and confusion, because he never wanted things to go this far, not in a classroom, he felt a soft touch of a fabric on his cheek, which made him look up. He was met with Minseok’s eyes, warmth in color, staring at his wound from such a close proximity that Jongdae felt his neck getting warmer.

“What are you doing?” he whispered out, slowly, his eyes never leaving Minseok’s. The elder had beautiful eyes.

“You’re bleeding,” he replied quietly, his gazed fixed on Jongdae’s cheek. The younger felt very uncomfortable, having the Gryffindor so close, his hand caressing his cheek, tips of his fingers touching his hair, his eyes roaming over his face. He wanted to say he would be fine, that is was nothing, but words died on his lips each time he wanted to voice them. Minseok’s eyes shifted, and he caught Jongdae’s gaze, staring at him. “As for someone who was ready to kill a moment ago, you look pretty shaken,” he mumbled, and Jongdae’s breath shook. He looked away, turning his head to the right, moving away from the elder’s touch.

“I didn’t mean to hurt him… like that,” he whispered, “it was an accident.”

“Looked pretty well thought through, if you ask me,” Minseok said, sitting next to Jongdae.

“Nobody asked you, tho.” And the silence followed, even more uncomfortable than Minseok’s body so close to Jongdae’s.

“Is this why you didn’t want to help me? Do you happen to lose control like this often?” Minseok questioned, looking at the back of the younger’s head.

“I don’t lose control,” Jongdae replied weakly, “and no, it was not the reason. I just really cannot help you,” he sighed out, exhausted.

“Alright –”

Jongdae closed his eyes, counting to three, then he turned back to face the Gryffindor, “I want to help you, Minseok,” he said, and the only looked at him surprised, “I just cannot. I don’t think it’s a good idea, that’s all. You should find someone else—”

“But I don’t want to,” he interrupted quickly, “I—I cannot ask anyone else, Jongdae,” he whined out finally, looking down at his hands, “I just don’t want the whole school to know I’m a failure… you’re the only person I can ask… mainly because you already know that I am—”

“You’re not,” Jongdae caught himself whispering, as his hand made its way to push a few lose bangs from the elder’s eyes. Minseok stilled under the touch, and so did Jongdae when he realized what he was doing. He quickly adverted him hand, turning his head away from the elder, trying to hide a small blush creeping up his neck.

“I should go,” Minseok mumbled, standing up and making his way to the door.

“I’ll help you,” Jongdae found himself saying, looking at the departing figure. Minseok stood dead in his tracks, slowly turning around, surprised and shocked, “I have just one condition, tho,” Jongdae added, weakly, “no one can know about this.” Minseok nodded, understanding, but Jongdae continued, “no one, Minseok. Not even Baekhyun and Chanyeol.”

The elder seemed confused for a moment, but then he nodded again, smiling softly, “thank you,” he said and left the room.

“Don’t thank me just yet,” Jongdae mumbled under his breath, drowning in the silence that was filling the room.

ººº 

He was no sitting on his own again, once again trying to hide from his friend, and the whole world. He never bothered caring for what people were saying about him, he couldn’t, but this time he knew he crossed the line. He knew he would not be able to avoid stares and whispers around the school. But it was peaceful and calm and quiet at the top of the tower, and Jongdae felt safe. Had it not been for a still stinging pain in his cheek, he could have pretended none of what had happened actually had. He could pretend it was all a dream. He looked around, and when his eyes landed on a massive model of the solar system, he frowned.

“Who’s here?” he asked, looking at a long shadow of a person on the ground. He took is wand out, but then heard a familiar laugh, and rolled his eyes, “how long have you been here?” he asked Minseok, who revealed himself from behind the massive sun.

“Not too long,” he said, but Jongdae had a feeling he lied, “I must say, you’re an incredibly small and tiny for someone with so much anger and power,” he chuckled, approaching the Ravenclaw.

“I’m not small and tiny,” Jongdae spat, looking away.

“Here, I got you some warm tea,” he said extending his hand with a beverage in it. Jongdae rains an eyebrow, but accepted it anyway, “I mean, it was warm when I got it, but I spent some time looking for you, and then also a few moments just standing there—”

“Why did you do it?” Jongdae just asked, looking at the cup.

Minseok shrugged, sitting opposite the boy, “you’ve gone MIA after that class, you never showed up to dinner… and I guess I just wanted to? You agreed to helping me, I mean, this is the least I could do—”

“How did you know I’d like tea?” Jongdae asked again, bringing his wand up and casting a spell at the cup to make it warm again.

“I don’t know… you seem like a tea person?” Minseok shrugged. Jongdae smiled, laughing slightly.

“I look like a tea person? That’s funny,” he mumbled and Minseok smiled as well.

They stayed in silence for a little bit, and Jongdae realized that it was no longer as uncomfortable as earlier that day. He rested his head against the stone again, and got back to looking into the distance.

“Why did you act up at Collin?” Minseok asked suddenly, but Jongdae didn’t answer. He bit his lower lip, instead, and his grip tightened around the cup. “Jongdae?”

“I don’t think I want to talk about it,” the younger only whispered, taking a sip of the tea.

“Is there anything you want to talk about?”

“Not really.”

“Not really, or not with me?” Minseok raised an eyebrow, observing the younger.

“Not really.

“Oh, boy, you’re making it really hard,” the elder laughed, joining Jongdae in watching the sunset. The younger looked at him questioningly. “Liking you,” Minseok explained, smiling softly.

Jongdae bit his lower lip, remembering Chanyeol’s words. “Did you know,” he started, looking at Minseok, “that Chanyeol and Baekhyun almost broke up over the summer because of us? Or maybe because of me…” he mumbled the last part, looking at his hands.

Minseok sighed, rested his back against the stone, and narrowing his eyes, observed Jongdae. “Why exactly do you hate me so much, Jongdae?”

“I don’t hate you,” he replied, “I am just not the best with people… not getting engaged with people is what got me through most of my time here,” he explained. He looked at the elder, and Minseok only nodded, as if asking him to continued. Jongdae sighed and rolled his eyes. “I don’t know what else to tell you, Minseok—”

“Maybe you could explain to me, then, how come you had an already pretty solid opinion on me when we met? Because you obviously never allowed me to make any good first impression… you just judged me on what others had said.”

“I did, I’m not gonna lie,” he just shrugged, “you see, Minseok, you had everything that was once mine... Collin and Caroline? We go way back. We used to pretty close when we were younger. So it isn’t as much you that I hate as the whole situation.”

“What happened?” Minseok asked curiously.

Jongdae smiled sadly, and Minseok suddenly felt bad for asking. “I fell in love and they played me,” he replied, his smile never fading. “And when I was out of the game, then you came along. And because you seemed to have been getting along so well with them, I just took you for the same type. But don’t worry,” Jongdae laughed lightly, “I am taking everyone for this type. I just don’t really like people, anymore,” he shrugged, laughing. And his laugh was so soft, so innocent, but so sympathetic and filled with so much loneliness, that Minseok felt as if air had been knocked out of his lungs.

“I am sorry, Jongdae,” he whispered, watching the other just sitting in front of him, with a soft smile on his lips, and a sea of pain in his eyes.

 

* * *

 

I hope you enjoyed :) Your feedback is always much appreciated! Thank you for checking this story out!

Love xx


	5. Complex duality

“But you promised, Jongdae!” Chanyeol whined, following his friend down the corridor.

“Chanyeol, cannot it wait an hour or two?” Jongdae groaned, feeling desperate, “I’ll help you once I’m done with— _emm_ —with this thing,” he stumbled upon his words, breathing our heavily.

“Thing? What are you up to again, Kim Jongdae?” the younger asked, frowning, “I hope you aren’t doing anything illegal?” he grabbed his friend’s elbow, stopping him, “are you?”

Jongdae sighed out, “of course not, Chanyeol. The whole freaking school knows that I’m on the radar,” he chuckled bitterly, “I just have this one errand to run and then I’m yours, okay? How about after dinner?” he smiled at the taller, pushing his had off of his sleeve.

“Alright,” the other only whispered, watching his friend run into the fields behind the school.

 ººº

“You came,” Minseok spoke, sounding surprised. They were standing at by the Forbidden Forest, where they had run into each other a few days before. Jongdae only rolled his eyes.

“Chanyeol held me up,” he explained, looking Minseok up and down, “I forgot I had promised to help him as well,” he shrugged.

“You chose my over your best friend?” Minseok teased, but Jongdae only shrugged again.

“Grab your things, we don’t have the whole day.”

The elder frowned. “Where do you want us to go?” he asked.

“There,” the Ravenclaw replied, nodding in the direction of the forest.

Minseok opened his mouth, ready to protest, but the younger had already disappeared amongst the trees. “Yah!” he exclaimed, quickly following him, “wait up!”

The walked in silence for about ten minutes, quickly getting deeper and deeper into the forest, away from the daily light of the school grounds. While Minseok kept on looking around, wary of the surroundings, Jongdae only pushed further in, knowing the path perfectly well. The elder wondered about that, but decided to ask questions later. Keeping his wand tightly in his hand, he was too freaked out by the darkness growing around them with every step they took. Finally, the Ravenclaw stopped and put his bag on the ground. They were standing in a small circle of empty space; there were black rings of ashes around and on the trees. Minseok gulped.

“Did you bring me here to kill me?” he mumbled, jumping upon hearing a noise in the bushes. Jongdae burst out laughing. Minseok raised an eyebrow, looking at the younger.

“Oh, boy,” the Ravenclaw finally mumbled, catching a breath a few moments later, “for someone of your posture and vibe, you seem to be just a big baby.”

“Shut up,” Minseok mumbled, smacking Jongdae across the head, “what are we doing here? What is this place?”

“It's our safe haven from today on,” Jongdae explained, opening his arms wide, proudly showing off the space, “no one will find us here, no one will hear us here, no one will know there’s anything happening here—”

“So, basically, you could kill me here and no one would ever know?”

Jongdae rolled his eyes at the dramatic Gryffindor, “technically, yes,” he sighed, “BUT!” he quickly added, seeing the mortified look in the elder’s eyes, “if I truly wanted to murder you, I’d be more artistic about it,” he winked, and Minseok felt extremely uncomfortable.

“You creep me out,” he confessed, taking a small step back.

“Not only you, don’t worry,” Jongdae smiled, taking a few steps back himself.

“You sound surprisingly happy and proud about this fact,” Minseok pointed, watching the younger’s every move carefully, not knowing what to expect.

“I’m telling you, makes a perfect excuse not to have to talk to anyone,” he smiled softly, and it took Minseok by surprise. “Anyway,” he continued, “you wanted for this to stay between us. And so did I. Doing it anywhere at, or around, school is out of question. And this is a relatively safe space, so don’t worry.”

“Easier said than done—” Minseok started complaining again, but didn’t finish as a spell exploded at his feet, and he jumped away with a high pitched yell, “what the hell?!”

“You’re talking too much, Minseok, time to focus on something else,” Jongdae said, and this time his voice was steady and emotionless, “ready your wand, and show me what you have. Try attacking me. With any spell,” he ordered, getting low on his knees, his wand high in his hand, eyes focused on the elder. Minseok swallowed, but followed the other’s actions, took a deep breath in and cast a spell.

 ººº

“Well, it wasn’t that bad, was it?” Jongdae asked, smiling awkwardly at a glaring Minseok.

“Define _that bad_ ,” the elder barked, massaging his shoulder.

They were on their way out of the forest, ready to go to the great hall for dinner. Jongdae was walking out the same as he had come in. Minseok, on the other hand, was covered in dirt and leaves, his white t-shirt begrimed in mud, black jeans ripped and his hair ragged. And above all, Jongdae ended up relocating his shoulder, which was their que to end the lesson.

“You could’ve broken it?” Jongdae tried, feeling _weirdly_ sorry for the elder.

“ _You_ could’ve broken it, Jongdae. It is your fault!” the Gryffindor spat, walking faster to get ahead of the other.

“I said I could help you out with it!” Jongdae exclaimed, getting irritated, “why are you so stubborn about it?!”

“Because I’m in pain, which is your fault, and I DON’T WANT YOU MESSING WITH MY BONES!” Minseok yelled out, and whined at the end at the growing pain.

“It’s not my fault you cannot protect yourself! It was a basic charm, you should’ve known it from your first lesson here, Minseok!” Jongdae yelled back at him, coming closer, “just let me repair your shoulder and everything will be fine! It’s not like it’s broken, it’s just relocated, stop BEING A BABY!” Jongdae lost it, yelling his lungs out at the elder. But he quickly took a few breaths in and out, collecting himself. “I can put your shoulder back together in a matter of seconds, Minseok. If you go to the hospital wing, they’ll start asking you questions about what had happened—”

“I can always say I fell off the broomstick,” Minseok interrupted, narrowing his eyes at Jongdae.

The younger sighed, “why the hell do I even bother,” he mumbled, throwing his hands up, “I’m going up to eat, you do you. I’ll see you around,” he rolled his eyes, leaving Minseok on his own.

Walking up the stairs, Jongdae was fuming. He was beyond angry and irritated with Minseok, and how stubborn the elder was. _It was just a small accident, nothing major happened. Nothing would have happened at all had he been careful enough! I told him to pay attention at all times! Ugh, he’s so full of himself and confident, no wonder he’s terrible at doing magic_ , Jongdae was thinking to himself, _I haven’t don’t anything wrong! He wanted my help and I gave him what he wanted! What did he think?! That I’d baby him?! Ugh, he’s so frustrating! Stupid Kim Minseok! “_ Ugh!” he yelled out upon reaching the top and scared a few younger students off. Upon realizing he actually vocalized his frustrations, he gave the youngers one last quick look and fastening his pace rushed towards the castle. “He’s so irritating!” Jongdae mumbled to himself, sitting at the table. He must have really been in a bad mood, he realized, as the moment he sat down some of the people sitting around him moved away. He only rolled his eyes and focused on a pumpkin soup in front of him.

“Jongdae—” he heard a voice next to him and whined.

“Cannot I even eat in peace and quiet?” he mumbled, hitting his forehead against the table.

“Oh,” Chanyeol gasped, “you must have had a really bad afternoon.”

“You’ve no idea,” the elder sighed, and looked at his friend, “anyway, didn’t you mistake tables?” he raised an eyebrows, looking towards where the Syltherins were sitting.

“I saw you sitting all alone so I thought I’d join you? Unless you don’t want, then I’ll just—” Chanyeol started rambling, getting up, but also getting caught up in his robes. Jongdae grabbed him by the wrist, pulling the taller down.

“Sit down, Chanyeol,” he laughed lightly, “I never said I don’t want it.” The taller smiled warmly at his friend and join him in eating. They did so in quiet, not exchanging words once. From time to time Jongdae would look up towards the entrance, as if waiting for Minseok to walk in, but the elder never did. Even after they were finished, and Chanyeol ate two plates of dissert, the Gryffindor was still nowhere in sight.

“Who are you looking for?” the Slythering asked curiously, following Jongdae’s gaze.

“What? What are you talking about, no one,” Jongdae clearned his throat, getting up, “let’s go, if you still wanna study, we should get going.” And without sparing the younger another look he quickly stood up started walking out.

“Jongdae!” his friend called out for him, but the Ravenclaw never stopped, rushing quickly towards the library, with a weird, unpleasant feeling in his guts.

 ººº

They were sitting by one of the tables, it was already late and dark outside, all the candles and lights inside where lit up, and there were only a few students left.

“I really don’t understand it,” Chanyeol huffed, irritated.

Jongdae groaned as well, “Yeollie, it’s not that hard, really!” he let out a desperate sighed.

“Not for you! For me, mixing unicorn’s blood with frog’s eyes and snakes venom makes no sense for an elixir of this sort!”

“But these are just a few of the ingredients, Chanyeol. Why are you being so picky of what you put inside? It’s not important!”

“How can you say that?” his friend whined, “I need to understand what I’m doing, in order to do it right!”

“You can also just remember it? Learn in by heart? It’s not a matter to be understood, Chanyeol. You just need to follow the steps!”

Chanyeol was about to open his eyes to argue some more, when Baekhyun approached them, look of concern adoring his eyes. “Baekhyun?” his boyfriend asked, concerned, “is everything alright?”

“I’ve been looking for you everything,” he breathed out, “has any of you seen Minseok anywhere?” he asked, and Jongdae automatically frowned. “He never came to dinner, and no one has heard from him since after the Quidditch practice…”

“I’m sure he’s fine. Probably just resting somewhere, or –”

“Or something happened to him and he’s –” Bakehyun started panicking, but Jongdae interrupted him.

“He’s fine, Baekhyun,” he mumbled, looking back down at his books.

“Do you know anything?” the elder frowned, “did you do something to him, Kim Jongdae?!” Baekhyun exclaimed, smashing his hand against the table.

“Baekhyun!” Chanyeol hissed at his boyfriend.

Jongdae only closed his book slowly and grabbing it in his arms, stood up, ready to leave, “I guess it’s my que to leave,” he spoke calmly.

“No, Jongdae, I’m sorr—” Baekhyun started, extending his hand to grab the younger’s robe, but the Ravenclaw had already turned around. But he didn’t take even one step, as he bumped straight into someone standing behind him. The person hissed, and Jongdae’s book fell to the floor. “Minseok!” Baekhyun exclaimed, “where the hell have you been?! I’ve been looking for you for hours!”

“I had to take a trip to the hospital wing,” the eldest explained, kneeling down to pick up the book, but he only hisses again. Jongdae bit his tongue not to say something, but instead of commenting, he only sighed heavily.

“I’ve got this,” he mumbled silently, for only Minseok to hear, and picked the books himself.

“Hospital?! What the hell has happened?! Are you alright?!”

Minseok sent Jongdae a brief glare, which the younger disregarded, before answering. “I dislocated my arm, it’s nothing, it’s fixed,” he smiled, sitting down. “What are you guys up to?”

Chanyeol grabbed Jongdae’s robes and pulled him back down, to make him sit at his previous spot, and mentioned at his notes, silently letting the Ravenclaw know that he still needed help.

“Wait,” Baekhyun mumbled, “I saw you right after the practice, and you were just fine,” he pointed, frowning.

“Ah,” Minseok chuckled, running a hand through his hair, “I got back to the field after everyone had left to practice one thing. I overworked myself and fell off the broom,” he shrugged, and then whined at the pain from the shoulder.

“It doesn’t look like it’s nothing,” Jongdae said, leaning back in his arm, “are you sure they did the right job in the hospital?”

Minseok glared at him, and his gaze said it all.

“Yah, Jongdae, don’t be annoying and just help him out,” Chanyeol nugged, “hyung, you should let Jongdae deal with your arm. I think they might have put your bones in place, but they probably didn’t give you the medication for the afterpain, did they? It once happened to me, I was so annoyed at them, ugh,” Chanyeol rolled his eyes, looking at Minseok. “Jongdae just cast one spell and it was all gone,” he smiled, looking at his friend, who had his eyes fixed on the eldest. “He put Baekhyun’s broken arm together once, too. Jongdae, help Minseok hyung and let’s get back to poisons, please.”

Jongdae smirked, enjoying Minseok’s distress expression. “Oh, I don’t know if Minseok would like me to mess with his bones, Chanyeol,” he said, “after all, it’s the most precious arm on the Gryffindor’s team. What if I snap it,” Jongdae leant forward as his last words escaped his lips and pretended to bite at Minseok. The elder instinctively leant back, frowning at the younger.

“Ugh,” Baekhyun spat, “you’re such an asshole, Jongdae.”

Jongdae raised an eyebrow at Minseok challengingly. The elder sighed heavily, looking at his friend, “stop it, Baekhyun, your comments are beyond unwelcome. Just leave Jongdae alone,” he spoke softly, and Jongdae took in all the words, knowing how much it cost the elder to bring himself to say it out loud. “Jongdae, could you,” the Gryffindor started, “help me out with my arm?”

Jongdae smiled at the eldest triumphally. **Jongdae: 1; Minseok: 0**. The Ravenclaw looked around, making sure that no one was looking at them, and upon grabbing his wand he walked over to stand behind Minseok. He placed his hand over the elder’s head, pushing it to the side (maybe only a little bit too harsh, and maybe only a bit by accident), to make sure the spell does not touch only other part of his body, and as he placed the tip of his wand over the Gryffindor’s shoulder blade, it shone with a light blue flame. Jongdae moved his wand over Minseok’s shoulder and down his arm.

“Done,” he said, going back to his seat.

“That’s it?” Minseok questioned, looking at his shoulder. He moved it up and down and around, trying to see if it pains anywhere anymore, but it did not. “Thank you, I guess,” he mumbled, looking Jongdae in the eyes.

The younger smiled proudly, shrugging nonchalantly, “you’re welcome, _I guess_.”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes, but before he got to say anything Chanyeol leant over on Jongdae and started whining to the Ravenclaw. “Help me, Jongdae, please, pay attention to me, now!”

An hour and a half later they started gathering their books, ready to go to bed. Jongdae felt an overwhelmingly uncomfortable upon realizing that Minseok had been stealing glances at him almost the whole time. They were about to exist the library, when he felt the elder’s hand on his shoulder, “can I talk to you for a moment?” he mumbled. Jongdae nodded and they let their friends lead the way, staying in the back for a little while.

“What is it?”

“Are we… are we still up for tomorrow?” he asked nervously, biting on his lower lip. Jongdae had to roll his eyes at that, not to stare too long. He really wanted to taste Minseok’s lips again.

“Now that I know what’s your real problem, you’re not getting out of these tutoring sessions that easily, Minseok,” he blew a raspberry, turning around, “just don’t ever again expect me to go soft on you!” he added, waving at the elder.

Truth was, the complexity of Kim Jongdae’s problem’s duality was that although he tried him best to convince himself he hated Minseok just as he hated all the other people, he also really wanted to just smash his lips against the elder’s. Of course, to shut the Gryffindor up. Not because they tasted good and maybe somewhere deep inside Jongdae felt that he didn’t hate Minseok as much as the other people. He hated Minseok just as he hated Minseok.

* * *

 

_Jongdae: 1_

_Minseok: 1 (?)_


	6. Hea(rt)dache

Jongdae stood in front of a tree, looking at standing in front of him Minseok. The Gryffindor’s face was focus, his muscles tensed, visible and defined underneath the thin fabric of his white shirt. His eyes were fixed on Jongdae, determined, and there was a wand in his hand, finding its balance against the wizard’s arm. Jongdae bit his lower lip, sighing silently to himself. The elder has grown on him more than he would have ever expected, and Jongdae was terrified. He had already had a wave of guilt and regret washing over him ever second he spent with Minseok and he did not need additional torture in form of _feelings._ After all, this was never supposed to happen. He was never supposed to get this close to the other, he was never supposed to let his guard down, but in the end, he had no one else but himself to blame. Himself and the three last shots he took with Minseok during the Wicked Witches concert. Had it not been for the alcohol back then, he would have never found himself being fucked against the bathroom sink by the Gryffindor. He would have never let that side of him get to the surface.

Jongdae had been mastering the art of hiding his feelings and desires from everyone, including himself, for the past years. He entered Hogwards as a child filled with hope and excitement, just to turn into a gloomy and cynic nobody two years later. He was just a kid when he learnt the most important lesson of life—you cannot trust anybody. And that was it for Jongdae. From a bright child with a bright future, he turned into a school freak, who hated everyone. But the truth was, Jongdae did not hate everybody. He truly hated only two people. But very quickly he had learnt, that letting people believe he despised every human being in the castle was way easier that having to answer a ton of uncomfortable questions.  And that is the story of how Kim Jongdae, the Ravenclaw head boy, started to roam the school’s halls on his own and in the overwhelming amount of free time, started frequenting the forbidden section of the library, developing new interests. Nevertheless, Jondgae still felt and still wanted. And in that want, he let himself make one mistake, which lead to an avalanche of others.

And so, here he was, trying to block all his feelings again, push them somewhere towards the back of his mind, even though it was way harder than expected. He did not enjoy being on his own all the time, and he felt guilty for always whining to Chanyeol about everything. After all, his one and only best friend, the only person insane enough to stick around, had his life and his own problems, and there was only so much he could do for Jongdae. Especially now that Chnayeol was in a relationship, the Ravenclaw felt like a third wheel even when Baekhyun was not around. It was high time he found himself … somebody. And it so just happened, that although rumor had it his heart was made of ice, it started melting piece by piece each time Kim Minseok was around. Unfortunately for Jongdae, the Gryffindor was not what he had expected and hopped for him to be. Minseok was not full of himself (most of the times), he was not a snob and he had little in common with traits he assosciated with his ex-friends, Caroline and Collin—cruel. The Kim Minseok that was known to the whole school through stories and fantasies of all was nowhere near the one that Jongdae got to know in the private of the Forbidden Forest.

His Minseok was a slightly shy boy, very uncomfortable and awkward with his magical abilities. He was never confident enough when facing Jongdae with his wand in his hand, his hand slightly trembling, in comparison to a steady grip that he had on his broomstick while shooting through the sky, chasing the golden snitch. His eyes kept running away from Jongdae’s, never being able to meet and hold a steady gaze. When the Revenclaw realized that that was one of Minseok’s issues in combat, he spent days upon days trying to explain to the other hat he needs to treat Jongdae, or any opponent he may have, or an object he might need to put a charm on, as if he was a golden snitch. First, Minseok blushed a little, stuttering, and Jongdae felt wave of heat spread in his chest. To avoid creating an awkward situation, he quickly explained: “just the way you focus on the snitch as your ultimate goal, an object you need to catch, therefore, you cannot let it get away, the same way you need to treat your target once you bring your wand up. Imagine your opponent, me, to be your golden snitch—something you need to hit with a charm—your target. Just as a golden snitch, however, I am a moveable object, Minseok. So you need to keep your eyes focused on me, to make sure that I don’t run, hide, or move and that your charm would actually hit me.” That seemed to help, as the Gryffindor nodded, still slightly intimidated with the comparison. And yet, the moment the wands fell down Minseok’s natural confidence in himself was back on, and it was Jongdae’s turn to feel intimidated by the other’s presence.

Suddenly, Jongdae blinked, lost ground beneath his feet and felt a grave pain in the back of his head and down from between his shoulder blades.

“Oh, shit!” he heard Minseok’s vague and distant gasp, and coughed a few times, before blinking again, slightly blinded by the pain. “Shit, shit, shit, Jongdae, are you alright?! Why didn’t you defend yourself?! What happened?!” the elder sounded panicked. He helped the younger up, and it took Jongdae a few more minutes to gather words.

“Ouch,” he only whined, touching the back of his head. His nose wrinkled once he felt something wet.

“Oh my, is this blood?!” Minseok panicked, “please, tell me you have a charm for that too!”

Jongdae was in a deep shock. It had never happened before that he would miss an attack. He got so distracted with thinking about Minseok, that he ended up getting hurt. Upon realizing that, he quickly pushed the elder away, and stumbled a few steps back. His eyes were big and full of helpless fear. “Y-yeah,” he mumbled, “I’ll be fine, it’s nothing.”

Minseok raised an eyebrow, looking the other up and down, “Jongdae, you’re hur—”

“I said I’ll be fine!” he raised his voice, “we’re done for today, I gotta go—” he mumbled and quickly disappeared between the trees.

“Jondgae!” the Gryffindor yelled after him, but Jongdae never stopped, only picked up the pace, trying to make it as far from the elder as possible before he would start feeling dizzy. Unfortunately for Jongdae, he never made it far. He was almost out of the forest when his vision got blurry and the world started spinning. He quickly grabbed his wand, but it fell to the ground from his shaking hand. The Ravenclaw leant against the tree and started slowly sliding down. But before he lost consciousness, he felt a pair of strong arms wrap around his waist and lift him up.

 

“Ouch!” Jongdae whined, wrinkling his nose.

“Stop being a baby,” Minseok mumbled as they were walking down the stairs from the hospital wing.

“So what, you get to whine and I cannot?!” the younger barked, feeling his stitches, “why do I have stiches, what is even magic for?!”

“I had a relocated shoulder, Jongdae, and I wasn’t stupid enough to disregard it. And they did not do the best job with my shoulder, as you may well remember,” the Gryffindor rolled his eyes.

“I guess we’re even now,” Jongdae chuckled as they turned the corner and started approaching the great hall. He could feel curious eyes of surrounding them students on them. “it’s my cue, I’ll see you tomorrow,” he mumbled stepping aside.

“Huh?” Minseok raised an eyebrow, “are we still doing it?”

“Doing what?”

“Pretending that we don’t know each other, or that we hate each other? What’s your deal?”

Jongdae only stood there, looking Minseok in the eyes, debating upon his answer. In the end, the elder raised a good point. They did not hate each other anymore, they were on good terms, and it seemed as if they had been actually warming up to each other. It’d also been a while since Jongdae was compromised to wipe Minseok’s memories, and although guilt had been hunting him unstoppingly, he managed to not let it control him or his actions. Maybe it was time to change the rules?

“Sorry,” he chuckled, “old habits, I guess. I’m just not the biggest fan of having people stare at me,” he mumbled, smiling softly, as he nodded in the direction of a few people walking by them, who were checking the two up and down, whispering.

Minseok smiled and threw his arm around Jongdae, “people are always gonna talk, Dae,” he laughed softly, “may as well give them something to talk about,” he winked and they walked in to the great hall. “Same time tomorrow?” the Gryffindor asked, letting his arm drop. Jongdae only nodded, and they parted their ways, going to their respective tables, with big smiles on their faces.

 

The next day Jongdae found himself as frustrated as the previous one. During his classes, he couldn’t focus as he kept on thinking about his meeting with Minseok in the afternoon. This earned him his first ever failed transfiguration spell. You can only imagine the horror painted on everybody’s faces, including the professor’s. He was just disgusted with himself.

Hours later, as he was walking down the stairs to the forbidden forest, he almost slipped from not paying attention, as his mind kept on revolving around thoughts of Minseok. Jongdae stood still in the middle of the stone staircase, looked around, and just yelled out at the top of his lungs. He stomped his feet like a child and crossed his arms across his chest. “Stupid you!” he mumbled angrily. Then, he took a few deep breaths in and continued walking.

“He will be the fucking death of me,” Jongdae thought, “I fucking hate him, hate him, hate him, hate him! And I fucking hate myself! I don’t do crushes! No crushes! Ugh, stupid Kim Minseok and his stupid strong arms and his stupid smile and his stupid face and his stupid hair and his stupid stupid stupid words and his stupid everything! UGH!” the Ravenclaw was fuming. “I should just tell him that it’s over and get on with my life. This is not what I signed up for. Stupid Chanyeol and his stupid boyfriend. Stupid Baekhyun and his stupid best friend. Stupid Minseok! Ehh… stupid me,” he sighed at the end, as he entered the forest. Jongdae let out a loud whine and rested his forehead against a tree. “Stupid, stupid, stupid little me.” He put a hand over his heart and clenched it over his robes. “Stupid feelings… who even needs them.” He sighed out loud and as he lifted up his head, there was Minseok standing in front of him, curiosity in his eyes.

Oh, his eyes were so big and dark, defined against his light complexion. Jongdae found himself falling in the abyss of Minseok’s eyes. He was terrified.

“Are you alright?” the Gryffindor asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

“Not at all,” Jongdae wanted to say, but instead, he just nodded his head. “Let’s go. I gotta leave earlier today,” he mumbled and passed by the elder without sparing him another look.

And so he missed the way Minseok’s eyes followed him and then rested on his back, as he disappeared in the nothingness of the forest.

 

“You seem to be a little bit out of it, lately. Is everything alright?” Minseok asked, helping Jongdae up from the ground. The Ravenclaw only nodded, exhausted with the anxiety filling him. The younger himself didn’t understand what was happening exactly, so how was he to explain it to anyone? Especially Minseok? The Gryffindor was the last person that was to know anything. He could never figure it out. Jongdae would die then.

“I might have overworked myself as of recently, I suppose,” he mumbled, taking a few deep breaths in.

“Then, it’s a good thing that Christmas is coming, am I right?” Minseok laughed lightly, dusting a few dead leaves off of Jongdae’s hair and shoulders. The Ravenclaw only prayed that the other didn’t feel the wave of shivers that his touch sent down the younger’s body. “Do you have any plans? Going back home, maybe?” the elder asked, and Jongdae froze. This was the first time such a question was asked between the two of them. They never talked about things outside of school, magic, tricks, hating each other, or Chanyeol and Baekhyun. He swallowed.

“Yeah, I’ll be going home in a few weeks,” he replied calmly, “how about you?”

Minseok smiled brightly, and Jongdae wondered why. “Of course! I cannot wait to be back home, rest and eat someone else than toasts for breakfast,” he chuckled.

“You do know they serve other things in here, as well, right?” Jongdae asked, dumbfounded.

“Of course I know, dummy. I just like toasts here,” he shrugged, and Jongdae frowned. “So where are you from, hmmm?” the Gryffindor asked again, sitting on the dirty ground and resting his back against the tree.

“I don’t think we’re done just yet—”

“Didn’t you say you had to leave earlier anyway? Why not spent a little bit of time getting to know each other? I feel like I’m pretty good at these things already, anyway—”

“You’re really not,” Jongdae mumbled and Minseok burst out laughing.

“You’re the boss, I guess,” he shrugged and patted the spot next to him, “come on, smarty pants, chill.”

Jongdae found himself so confused by what was happening that he just sat down without a word and looked straight ahead.

“So?” Minseok nugged him, “where do you live?”

“London,” Jongda replied, trying his best not to look at the elder. He didn’t trust himself.

“Oh, big city type of guy, no wonder you’re so uptight,” the other laughed, but Jongdae only shrugged. “Hmmm?” Minseok hummed, looking at the younger, “are you okay, Dae?”

“I—I gotta go, Minseok.”

And he just stood up and was about to leave when he felt a grip at his wrist, “I was just joking, Jongdae, I’m sorry—”

“Whatever,” the Ravenclaw only hissed, choosing attitude to be the mask for his confusion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is neither the best nor the longest, but I tried my best to give you guys anything, and if I was to keep on adding more to this chapter I don't know if I'd ever be able to post it.


	7. One Last Time

That same evening, Chanyeol and Jongdae were sitting at the Three Broomsticks with a table full of empty glasses of butterbeer. Jongdae was not good.

“Dude, just talk to me,” Chanyeol asked, concerned, “what is wrong? It’s not normal for you to be like—” he looked around the table, “like this. Is it stress? Has something happen? Something at home?”

“Home is same old same old, Chanyeol, mum says hi,” the Ravenclaw shrugged, “you know you’re her favourite,” he winked at his friend, taking another sip of his beer. And then he sighed, seeing that the trick didn’t do anything. “It’s nothi—”

“Don’t fucking tell me it’s nothing! Don’t fucking lie to my face, Jongdae!” Chanyeol snapped, “it’s not nothing when you fail in classes, loose conscious, when you’re absent all the time doing god knows what! Getting shitface drunk in the middle of the week? It’s not nothing and it’s not you! Spill!”

“Ah, I wish I was getting shitface drunk tho,” Jongdae mumbled, “it feels like water.” A sigh came out of his mouth and he wrapped both of his hands in his hair. “I’m just… it’s that… I’m tired, Chanyeol,” he finally let out, “I am tired—no, I am exhausted of the constant state of confusion that I’ve found myself in lately. I cannot sleep, I cannot eat, I cannot focus properly, my mind keeps drifting to all these places when I need to focus… I need answers to questions I cannot even ask and there’s nobody who can give them to me… I am just so tired of _being_ here, Chanyeol,” he whined, hiding his face in his hands for a few seconds and then running his fingers through his hair. “I need to get away for a bit, run away from the constant guilt lingering on my soul,” he whispered, and his heart stopped. Has he just said a word too many?

“Oh, my dear friend, it sounds like love,” Chanyeol smiled fondly at the Ravenclaw. Jongdae only raised an eyebrow, giving him a sign to elaborate. “That confusion of yours. Lack of sleep, appetite, focus… sounds like symptoms of _love_ ,” the Gryffindor shrugged, taking a sip of his beer, “now I just wonder, who that might be?”

Jongdae felt his heart stop. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Ten seconds and then it started beating again. His mind suddenly felt empty and heavy. His hand started hurting and his hands trembling. He could not have been in love. This is not what love felt like last time.

“Love doesn’t feel like torture,” he only whispered, beyond self-conscious of his trembling voice. Chanyeol only sent him a sympathetic look. And then his eyes shone.

“Why is guilt eating you out?” the taller asked, and Jongdae only quickly looked to his right, away from his friend’s eyes. “ _Because I had sex with your boyfriend’s friend but also stole his memories after that so he has not idea anything ever happened between us.”_ But his salvation came in form of two too familiar figures entering the place.

“What the fuck, Chanyeol,” Jongdae mumbled, “do you really gotta bring your puppy everywhere?” he complained, “I thought it was supposed to be just us night!” the Ravenclaw barked, anger building up in him.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Chanyeol followed his friend’s eyes and sighed when his eyes landed on his boyfriend and his friend. “I swear, I did not invite him. I told Baekhyun I was meeting up with you tonight, I don’t know what they’re doing here! I swear!”

Jongdae huffed, “yeah, sure, whatever.” He rolled his eyes and downed down his beer as surprised Baekhyun approached their table.

“Oh, hey guys. I didn’t know you’d be here,” he smiled shyly, probably realizing how it all must have looked like.

“Well, do you guys wanna join us?” Chanyeol asked, being his usual charming and nice self. Jongdae hated him more than anybody else at that moment.

Baekhyun’s eyes fell of fuming Jongdae, so he only smiled at his boyfriend, “that’s fine, babe, I don’t wanna be a burden. We’ll be –”

“You’ll be here around, anyway, Baekhyun,” Jongdae chimmed in, “you might just as well sit here. It’ll save all of us a lot of time and running around and pretending. Plus, I cannot do it anymore, anyway, so I’ll be on my way,” he said abruptly, quickly standing up.

“Hey, Jongdae—” Chanyeol grabbed his friend and looked at him with soft eyes, “don’t be like that. Coincidence happen, stay with us. You might use some fun,” he smiled lightly, “please, stay with us? A little bit more?”

Jongdae knew that had he been to leave, he’d always be the bad one. The terrible friend. The pretentious Ravenclaw that everyone already thinks he is.

            “It’s really nothing if you want us to go, Jongdae,” Baekhyun added, “we haven’t come here looking for you guys, just for a beer, I know it’s your night out. We can –”

“Oh my god, do you ever stop talking, Baekhyun?” Jongdae rolled his eyes, but the annoyance in his voice came out more playful than spiteful, “how do you even deal with him every day, I don’t understand that,” he sighed, looking at his friend. There was a shadow of a smile on his lips.

“What can I say, it’s _l o v e_ ,” Chanyeol laughed, wrapping an arm around the elder’s waist.

Jongdae rolled his eyes again, and then looked between Baekhyun and Minseok, “I’m gonna go grab a beer, you guys want anything?” They both nodded and Jongdae left.

“What’s up with him?” Baekhyun asked curiously, leaning more towards his boyfriend.

Chanyeol only let out a long sigh and shrugged, “I wish I knew, Baekhyun, I wish I knew. I bet my money he’s just overworked—”

“Oh, yeah, I’ve heard that he failed in transfiguration the other day,” the elder nodded, his eyes following the figure of Jongdae who was standing in the line at the bar.

“What?” Minseok chimmed in, surprised.

“You haven’t heard? Apparently he wasn’t able to properly transform the key into a lock using the charm of deceiving,” Baekhyun whispered, his eyes sparkling excitedly at the gossip item.

“Baekhyun, you’re still talking about y best friend, may wanna take the excitement down a noch, you know,” Chanyeol mumbled, but he wasn’t able to hide the small laugh that made its way onto his lips as his boyfriend was sharing the news.

“That’s slightly alarming, isn’t it?” Minseok asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Not even slightly… it’s hella alarming,” the Slytherin boy shrugged, sending one look in the direction of the Ravenclaw who was now making his way back to their table. “Don’t speak any of it when his here,” he quickly let the two Gryffindors know and smiled widely at Jongdae, “you feelin’ better?”

“I wanna murder everyone right now, but I guess it’s a progress from wanting to leave,” he growled, placing three beers on the table.

“What happened?!” all three of them asked, their eyes growing bigger.

“The amount of times I’ve been pushed in the line is countless,” the Ravenclaw sighed, dropping in the chair. “What were you guys talking about?”

Minseok and Chanyeol exchanged glances, but Baekhyun quickly came to their rescue, “Christmas,” he smiled lightly, “are you going back home for the break?” he asked, smoothly shifting the focus of their previous conversation to a lighter topic.

“Sadly,” he replied smiling jeeringly.

“Oh, come on, stop complaining all the time!” Chanyeol rolled his eyes.

“Well, I wouldn’t complain if my mother loved me at least half as much as she loves you!” Jongdae whined and Minseok and Baekhyun burst out laughing.

“That’s actually true,” Chanyeol teased, “I’m her favourite.”

“You’re everybody’s favourite,” Baekhyun giggled, placing a kiss on the taller’s cheek.

“Yah!” Jongdae and Minseok yelled at the same time and as their eyes met a second later, they just laughed softly at each other.

“Oh, look at you too getting along,” the younger Gryffindor cooed, “my heart is joyful –”

“And your mind is already drunk,” Minseok pointed.

“Oh yeah, it’s _loooooveeee drunk_!”

“Dear lord!”

 

They were on their way back to the castle when the snow started snowing. It was a deep and peaceful night, disturbed only by Baekhyun’s and Chanyeol’s drunked laughs and declarations of love. Jongdae and Minseok were walking slightly slower behind the lovebirds, the elder keeping his hand wrapped around the Ravenclaw waist to help him find his balance.

“You can let me go, you know that, right?” Jongdae mumbled, looking amazed at the falling snowflakes.

“I know,” Minseok shrugged, “but it’s cold and you’re warm,” he replied and in the moment of weakness Jongdae only rested his head against the other’s shoulder. He really wanted to just look up and kiss the living hell out of Minseok, just one more time, one last time, he was sure of it, it would be the last time and he would never do it again… ever. Just one last time, and then he would wipe the Gryffindor’s memories, and maybe his own as well, and everything would be back to normal. Just one last glance…

And as he looked up, he was met with Minseok’s soft smile and gleaming eyes already looking at him. Jongdae swallowed hard.

“What are you looking at?” Minseok teased, his voice playful.

“You,” Jongdae only whispered and leant in to place his lips over the elder’s. It was just a second, but that was enough for the Gryffindor to wrap his arm tighter around the younger and deepen the kiss. The air was knocked out of Jongdae’s lungs and he felt his knees go weak. The adrenaline rush in his veins made him realize one thing: he wanted more. He needed more, more from Minseok. The elder’s sweet touches were getting addictive. His hated his body, his mind, his heart in that moment. But he was willing to give in. _One last time_.

When they parted, Jongdae fell into Minseok’s eyes that were shining bringhter than the moon. At the back of his mind he knew that he had to wipe the other memories out as soon as possible, but he couldn’t bring his conscious to focus on that. He wanted more. More touched, more grips, more kisses. He wanted more of Minseok. So he let the Gryffindor wrap his arms around his waist one more time, bring him closer to his own body and lead him in silence towards the castle.

And there, in the cold of the stone and the light of the silver moon, as Minseok was placing soft and warm kisses on his skin, while having him pressed against the naked wall, Jongdae grabbed his wand, and as a single tear rolled down his cheek, he placed the tip of the wood to the elder’s temple and let the spell roll down his tongue.


	8. The Dark Arts: the complete compendium of unforgivable potions

Jongdae sat at the table by the window, the world outside was swallowed by night and everyone in the castle was sound asleep. The only source of light was a small candle in front of him, which burning flames lit up the old pages of books spread in front of him. _The Dark Arts: the complete compendium of unforgivable potions_ read the title. And although the book was old, from the sixteenth century, Jongdae’s eyes were fixed on one recipe he had not found anywhere else, in any other updated book. He had been looking at that one page for almost an hour now, contemplating his decision. _Obliviscaturum_ was written at the top of the page in a grey ink, letters curved and shaky. A potion to erase emotions. “ _Everything would be back to normal_ ,” Jongdae was thinking, “ _the whole problem is my feelings for Minseok—if I get rid of them, I’d get rid of this whole mess… all I need is to forget. Yes_ ,” he nodded to himself and ripped the page out of the book.

He’ll make the potion and everything will be back to normal. If he starts now, it’ll be ready after Christmas. He needs to hurry.

 ***

Jongdae was long buried in his covers on his bed, but the sleep didn’t want to come. The thoughts and memories of everything he has done were haunting his mind, and all the boy wanted to do was scream and yell and beg for the sweet relief of sleep to come and take him to the neverland. But it wouldn’t. Just as if some greater power decided to torture him.

He let out a sign and turning to the side, he grabbed the blue pendant resting on his chest. It glowed in his hand, so he quickly hid it underneath the sheets. Looking at it, Jongdae felt a wave of sadness wash over him. It was never meant to be like this. His pendant was never meant to become a purgatory for Minseok’s memories, after all, it had already been Jongdae’s hell way before that. There they were, memories of Jongdae’s agony mixed with reminisces of Minseok’s passion. He felt sick to the core thinking of what he had done, of all these things that had turned him into who he was today—a thief. A thief and a liar and above all, a traitor to his best friend. True, that he despised Minseok the moment he laid eyes on him, but that had nothing to do with the elder, as much as it had everything to do with the fact that he was a Gryffindor. Jongdae had made the mistake of disobeying his father’s truths once and he had learnt better than to do against his father’s mantra again. “We don’t align ourselves with Gryffindor.” Jongdae once did, he trusted and loved those who were in Gryffindor and they only broke his heart.

Jongdae smiled sadly remembering Caroline and Colin. It had been a long time since he thought about them. Today, they were the school’s most famous couple, years ago, they were Jongdae’s best friends. Or so he thought.

 

_“My father is going to be so mad when he hears that I am in Ravenclaw,” little Jongdae mumbled, his whole body trembling._

_“Oh, Dae, don’t say that,” a soft voice spoke next to him and a pair of warm, small arms embraced him. “Everything is going to alright. Your father will be proud of you!”_

_“Exactly!” another voice joined, a little deeper, “I tell you, it’s all gonna be fine, and if not, I’m gonna kick your father’s ass for you!” a little boy shouted, putting his fists in the air._

_“Colin, you cannot say ass!” a girl embracing Jongdae hissed, narrowing her eyes at her friend._

_Although still terrified and aware that all his friends had just said were lies, Jongdae giggled, leaning into the touch, “thank you, guys. Ah, I at least wish I could have been sorted into Gryffindor,” he sighed, “so that I could be with you two—”_

_“Oh, us being in different houses means nothing more than that we’d have different classes. We can still hung out all the time after that!”_

_“Caroline’s right,” Colin nodded, sitting on the other side of the Ravenclaw, “we’ll always be together!”_

_As time passed, they started spending less and less time together._

_“Colin,” Jongdae approached his friend after dinner one night, “may I talk to you for a second?” he asked, smiling. The elder smiled back and waving at his friends, followed the Ravenclaw._

_“What’s up? I don’t really have much time, we have a team meeting soon—”_

_“Yeah, I’ve heard you made it to the team,” Jongdae spoke softly, “congratulations.”_

_“Thanks, mate! So, what did you wanna talk about?”_

_Jongdae bit his lower lip, looking down at his hands, “I believe you’ve heard my father’s speech the other day,” he spoke quietly, looking up shyly._

_Colin’s features changed slightly, becoming darker and more tense, “yes, yes I have.”_

_“Colin, I want you to know that I do not think that way. I don’t agree with my father—”_

_“Yeah, I know,” the Gryffindor spoke, but his voice remained cold, “I know you’re not your father, Jongdae. And we’ve been friends for a long time. We’re good,” he shrugged and got up, but Jongdae quickly caught his arm._

_“Are we, Colin?” he asked, biting on his lower lip, “because it doesn’t seem like it—”_

_The boy sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “look, I know you’re not your father, Jongdae… but that man in your father. And your whole family is like that… I know you’re different and all that bullshit, but… but you’re a pureblood, Jongdae, and you’ve been growing up in a certain ideology all your life… and you’re still trying to do anything you can to prove to your family that you’re a Slytherin, even tho you’re in Ravenclaw! How can I be sure that somewhere deep down, you don’t share your father’s opinions… how can I be sure you don’t think of me as low as he does?”_

_Jongdae was beyond shocked. He tightened his grip and without thinking brought the other in for a hug, “I love you, Colin,” he whispered, and his heart pounded against his chest, “I could never think low of you. You’re my everything.”_

_After a moment of silence, the elder hugged back._

_“I love you, too, Jongdae. Of course I do. You’re my best friend. I’m sorry I doubted you,” the boy whispered back and Jongdae’s heart broke. Because he truly loved Colin, more than a friend. And also because he knew Colin was lying. He wasn’t sorry. He hated Jongdae for his father’s ideology._

Jongdae shook his head, chasing the memories back into the pendant. He didn’t want to see them, think of them, remember them. That was the whole point of getting rid of them… to spare his head and his heart. But here he was again, indulging himself in a self-pity party at 3am in the morning.

 *** 

“Jongdae!” Chanyeol yelled at him as he was crossing the fields, “Jongdae! Are you coming to the game today?” the younger asked, finally catching up with him.

“I did promise you, didn’t I?” the Ravenclaw chuckled, readjusting his bag on his shoulder.

“Great, I was just making sure,” the taller smiled, “what are you doing here on your own?” he looked around the moors, frowning.

“Oh, just gathering some ingredients for a potion,” he smiled, knowing that with Chanyeol the easier way to get out of a problem most of the times was to tell the truth.

“What potion? It’s the end of the semester!”

“Oh, it’s one that erases all your emotions,” he explained smoothly, and Chanyeol stopped dead in his trucks. Jongdae looked at him, raising an eyebrow back at his friend. “What?”

The other only rolled his eyes, annoyed, “okay, whatever, if you don’t wanna tell me, you don’t have to, I’m used to your secrets, but you don’t have to make things up,” he sighed.

Jongdae only chuckled to himself, nodding at his friend to follow him, “let’s go, you probably need to change before the game to look dashing for your boyfriend, am I correct?”

“In fact, you are, my friend, let’s go!”

  ***

The last game of the season, Gryffindor vs. Slytherin. Jongdae was pretty sure almost everyone at school showed up, including the teachers. He was sitting with the rest of his house for the whole game, in the back, not wanting to bother anyone, silently observing the Gryffindors up in the air. And although he hoped that it would be Slytherin who’d win the game, just for the sake of his Christmas chit chats with his family at the table, he secretly wished Minseok would catch the snitch. At times, when the players would fly really close to the sitting area, Jongdae had a weird feeling that each time it was Minseok, their eyes would meet for a split second, before the seeker would be gone, rushing after the flying gold. And there were times when he would feel someone else’s gaze on his body, but he was never able to catch the onlooker.

Once the game was done, with Gryffindor winning the season by five points, Jongdae met with Chanyeol and Baekhyun in front of the player’s lockers, where the two were waiting for Minseok.

“Congrats,” he smiled at Baekhyun, who was beaming from ear to ear, “nice game.”

“Thank you! It was, wasn’t it?! I am so happy that my boys kicked Slytherin’s asses!” Baekhyun exclaimed

“And girls, Byun, and girls!” yelled a girl from the team who was passing them at the same time.

“Of course, Mia, angel, you were amazing, I love you!” Baekhyun yelled after her and then quickly hid in Chanyeol’s tall frame, “she scares me.”

“Hey guys,” Minseok greeted them, approaching from the pitch, “I’ll be ready in a second—oh, Jongdae,” he exhaled surprised, “how did you like the game?”

The Ravenclaw chuckled, rolling his eyes, “oh, _golden boy_ , I expected way more,” he shrugged and Minseok laughed.

“Oh my my, if it’s not Kim Jongdae!” they heard a voice and a moment later there was Colin standing in front of Jongdae, his arm thrown over Minseok’s arms, “and what are _you_ doing here?” he mocked, and Jongdae only made a disgusted face.

“Colin, fuck off, mate,” Chanyeol growled, taking a step closer towards the boy.

“Oh, Chan, my friend, calm down,” Colin laughed, placing a hand on the Slytherin’s chest, “I’m just asking my dear old friend, I haven’t seen him in quite some time… I must admit, Jongdae,” he said, making a fake sad face, “it really hurt when you didn’t come to visit me at the hospital, is that how you treat people you _love_?”

Jongdae’s insides turned upside down and his face paled, “I am three seconds away from breaking all your bones,” he said, his eyes dark, “and you know I’d do that,” he threatened.

Colin smirked, taking a step back, “of course. We wouldn’t want a repeat of that fun time you _actually_ almost killed that poor kid, would we, now?”

A heavy silence fell on them, as Chanyeol, Baekhyun and Minseok focused their curious eyes on Jongdae. And the Ravenclaw felt overwhelmed.

“Oh, well,” Colin signed, exaggeratedly, “what a shame I won’t be seeing you at the party tonight,” he shrugged, “I mean, I can only imagine what kind of a torture it would be for someone who hates Gryffindor as much as you do,” he winked at Jongdae and left, but not without patting Minseok on a shoulder.

“What was that about?” Baekhyun asked, looking at fuming Jongdae.

“Don’t pay any attention to him, he can be dick—” Minseok started, but the Ravenclaw only snapped at him,

“Believe me, I fucking know it better than anyone.”

  ***

As the evening came, Jondgae found himself at the Gryffindor’s victory party. He really didn’t wanna be there, not because of Colin and his dick moves, but because he knew nobody wanted him there. He was beyond infamous among the Gryffindors thanks to his family legacy, and half of Slytherin referred to him as “wannabe Slytherin.” He knew when he was unwanted (which was most of the times) and the party was just one of such occasions.

But he did come, after a long session of pleading from Chanyeol, then a few “please come” from Baekhyun, who was only doing it for his boyfriend, and the final “you should come, why not?” shrug from Minseok. Tomorrow would be the last day at Hogwarts and the next day they’d board the train to leave for the Christmas break. He already knew everyone hated him and he hated everyone, so what’s the harm, anyway?

Something Jongdae did not expect was to have one drink too many and spend probably a little bit too much time with his eyes glued to dancing Minseok. It took him a while to realize, but at some point he realized he had been practically staring at the elder Gryffindor without blinking, following his every move closely. Once the terrifying revelation drowned on him, he quickly turned around to the bar (it was the Hufflepuffs’ party) and asked for one more drink. He could only pray that nobody had seen him staring explicitly at one of the most desirable man at school. Unfortunately, he wasn’t lucky.

“So you’ve just a thing for my best friend?” he heard Baekhyun’s voice, and when he looked to his right, the Gryffindor was sitting next to him, his own drink in his hand.

“I don’t know what you mean,” he mumbled, taking a sip.

“Oh, Jongdae. You know, you and I aren’t that different,” he said, and Jongdae laughed, “so you may just as well cut the crap and spill the tea. After all, it’s Minseok we’re talking about, here.”

“I still don’t know what you mean, Baekhyun, shouldn’t you be somewhere off with Chaneol, fucking or whatever you guys do?”

“Contradicting to your believes, we don’t spend every single minute together, you know,” Baekhyun shot him a glare, but Jongdae only shrugged, “what is it that you want from Minseok?”

“Dude, cut it. I don’t want anything from Minseok, from you, or from anybody else, okay.”

“Jongdae, you were practically eye fucking Minseok and then you started drooling… are you in love with him?” the Gryffindor whispered, and Jongdae choked to the rhythm of his heart banging against his chest.

“I don’t do love, Baekhyun,” he replied, looking the other in the eyes, “you’re… interesting, you know. I know you don’t like me, but sometimes I think it’s for different reasons then everybody else, and that confuses me…”

Baekhyun raised an eyebrow, “well, I don’t know why everybody else hates you, I simply don’t like just because I don’t know you, that’s it. You make it really hard to like you, Jongdae, or to get to know you. I tolerate you because of Chanyeol, and although I honestly think we’re not that different from each other, I am just not willing to spend forever breaking through your walls. It’s that simple. You don’t want me to like you, therefore, I don’t,” he explained.

Jongdae looked at him surprised and truly content, “interesting. I guess you’re not as bad as I used to think you are,” he smiled, and the Gryffindor chuckled.

“So, are we gonna talk about Minseok?”

“No,” Jongdae cut shortly, “there’s nothing to talk about, Baekhyun. As I said, I don’t do love, or feelings anymore, so you don’t have to worry. I’m just doing my best to get along with him for the sake of you and Chanyeol.”

“Get along, you say? Because it seems like you guys are way past that phase,” Baekhyun smirked and Jongdae raised a confused eyebrow, “Minseok talks about you quite a lot, you know.”

“Shit,” Jongdae whispered, and then cleared his throat, “I bet he needs to let his frustrations out some way, you guys do make us spend a lot of time together, after all.”

“Yeah, sure, whatever you say,” Baekhyun winked at him, “so what’s your deal with Colin, hmm?” he asked, but Jongdae only turned towards his glass, avoiding the question, “okay, so you’re not answering this one as well, wow, you’re the true life of the party—”

“No one asked you to hang out with me and you’re asking a lot of personal questions.”

“Literally the first question I asked and I just wanted to make sure you’re okay, because he was a real asshole today—”

“He’s been worse, Baekhyun, you don’t have to worry, I’ll be fine,” he whispered, sighing heavily.

“You wanna talk about it?”

“Not really,” he shrugged, so Baekhyun just nodded. But then Jongdae took a sip of his drink and looked at the Gryffindor, “did you know we go way back? Colin, Caroline and I?” he asked, and Baekhyun confirmed with a nod.

“I’ve heard from Chanyeol that you guys used to hang out.”

“We used to be best friends,” the Ravenclaw smiled sadly.

“What happened?”

“Well, my father’s excessive ideology came in the way and Colin started hating me for that. Colin’s not a pureblood and my family kind of stands behind the whole movement for purity of blood and other bullshit,” he started explaining, downing his drink in one go, “my father once said a few words too many, about how we should be preserving the blood of wizards instead of dirtying it with muggle blood and how there is a clear hierarchy between wizards based on their family background,” he said and Baekhyun’s lips turned upside down, his face painted with disgust. “He also believes in superiority of houses, but he cannot say that out loud to the public. But Colin knew that, because we had happened to discuss it once. So after my father gave that infamous statement, Colin and I drifted apart. He blamed me for my family’s ideology, pushed it onto me… he was the one who started the trend among the Slytherin students to call me “Slytherin Wannabe.” He really hated me.”

“Oh, I remember when it started… that was when I first heard about you…”

“Great,” the Ravenclaw sighed, asking for another drink.

“Did you cut him off?”

Jongdae chuckled, “I wish, Baekhyun, I wish,” he mumbled, “the worst in all of this was, I guess, that I didn’t do anything. I let him be cruel to me, because I… I loved him, Baekhyun. I loved him and I knew that he hated me, but he still acted like we were best friends when we were together… I let him play me so dirty…”

Baekhyun looked at him with sympathy filling his eyes, and Jongdae just let himself sulk into his misery. He was stupid to let all of that happen, he had only himself to blame, and he knew that, but it still hurt whenever he thought about it.

“How did it end?”

“I ended up dating Caroline for a little bit and everything seemed to be going back to normal, until I caught both of them making out and it turned out that they had actually started dating before Caroline and I and all that was just a stupid prank they decided to pull on me to prove that I’m nobody with them… and I guess they were right. I have hardly spoken to anybody the last couple of years, and the damage my father, my family and Colin have made combined makes me just wish I could disappear from this school. I’m not a bad person, you know, Baekhyun… I’m really not…”

Baekhyun put a hand on Jongdae’s shoulder and smiled at him sadly.


End file.
